Thursday, November 17, 2011

News: Cheese in Theaters

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1- 28% Certified Rotten (

                 What the heck is it: The first part of the epic final chapter in the “Twilight” saga. Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart) SPOILER ALERT!!! get married and finally get down to doing the nasty. From there, gross vampire baby hijinx ensure. And presumably Taylor Lautner will take his shirt off early and often. So there’s something for everyone really.

                 Critics said: “The good news? Now that all of the tedious exposition has been gotten, glacially, out of the way, ‘Part II’ will probably be terrific.”- Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger
                “It's like ‘Roadhouse’ for women. As irresistible as it is ridiculous.”- Gary Thompson, Philadelphia Daily News
“You can't blame a film based on a book for adhering to the book's idiotic storyline. You can, however, blame it for sucking as a movie.” -Matthew Razak,
“‘Breaking Dawn - Part 1’ as a whole feels stretched-out, as if the filmmakers realized belatedly that there wasn't enough material in the book to sustain two movies. (There isn't).” -Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times
                And despite all that, it’s still going to make a bajillion dollars, so who really cares what critics think anyways? AH! I mean, other critics. You should totally care what this site thinks haha!

Happy Feet Two- 36% Certified Rotten (

                What the heck is it: The sequel to the mildly funny, sorta cute, but mostly very creepy hit about a penguin names Mumble that just wants to dance! This time around, Mumble’s son doesn’t like dancing so he wanders off on his own for a bit and encounters a flying penguin and global warming.
                Critics said: “For a computer-animated movie about dancing penguins, it's surprisingly leaden. Not even the impressive voice talent can rev up this clumsy spectacle.” -USA Today

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