Ladies and gentlemen, science has just confirmed something that Michael Bay has known since he was in diapers: Explosions=$$$.
I’d put that right up there with E=MC2 and whatever that Pythagorean guy was always going on about.
Somebody somewhere (how’s that for journalism?) made up a nice little chart showing the box office totals of Michael Bay films is directly tied to the number of explosions featured within.
For example, “The Island” contains very few explosions, thusly, very few people saw it. Conversely, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon,” often features explosions exploding and it was seen by everyone on the planet… twice.
So, the ball’s in your court Gus Van Zant and Mike Nichols. You guys want to make movies that gross a bazillion dollars, you best cut out the gabbing and add in some BOOM!
Check out the charts here. Definitely worth taking a look at.
Source: JobloCheese on the Big Screen
Truth be told: I’ve never heard about any of these movies, so we’ll have to rely on critics for the snark.
Killing Bono- 55% Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com)
What the heck is it: A comedy about a couple of Irish musicians as they struggle to make sense of the insane levels of success found by their old school chums--- U2.
Critics said: “‘Killing Bono’ never really gets going, mostly because it has no real idea of how to convey joy, pain, or any type of emotional progression.”- Jesse Cataldo, Slant Magazine
The Son of No One- 24% Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com)
What the heck is it: A young cop with a dark secret patrols the streets of his old neighborhood.
Critics said: “‘The Son of No One’ self-destructs in a ludicrous, ineptly directed anticlimactic rooftop showdown in which bodies pile up, and nothing makes a shred of sense.”- Stephen Holden, New York Times
|Don't let the abs fool you, he's a nightmare|
Five Star Day- 38% Certified Rotten (Rottentomaotes.com)
What the heck is it: A guy’s horoscope says he’s going to have a great day, but then he has a bad day. Hmm… those things are usually spot on too. Understandably confused by this twist, he goes in search of three people who share his birthday to see if their days were any better. Cam Gigandet, the super douche from “The Roommate,” stars so chances are this movie will be insufferable.
Critics said: “Danny Buday's film is not so much skeptical of astrology as confused about it.”- Kalvin Henely, Slant Magazine