Tuesday, November 1, 2011

News: Don't go in the sand

Just when you thought it was safe to back in the… sand?
                That’s right kiddies. And you thought sharks could only rip you to pieces if you stepped foot in the ocean, but not no more! It seems the scariest fish to currently reside in our seas has set its sights on conquering dry land as well. Or at least that’s the plan according to the truly awful looking new film “Sand Sharks.”
                The sharks in the movie swim through the sand (!!) of all things, munching on scantily clad co-eds. How that works with their gills, I have no idea.
                Yup, it’s basically “Jaws,” meets “Piranha 3-D” only now the beach is the battleground. It remains unclear if these sand sharks can swim in water too or only in sand.
                How bad is this movie? Well, I’ll tell ye. Brooke Hogan, daughter of N.W.O’s Hollywood Hulk Hogan stars as some type of shark expert. Should I mention she’s a scantily clad shark expert, or is that just redundant?
                Pop quiz: Who makes for the least believable scientist: Tara Reid in “Alone in the Dark,” Denise Richards in “The World is Not Enough” or old Brooke here? That is an unholy trifecta if I ever saw one.
                Watch the trailer. God only knows when this mess will see the glow of florescent lights suspended above DVD shelves.
                Source: Bad Movie Nite

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