Thursday, November 10, 2011

News: Cheese in Theaters

                Ugly looking weekend coming up. Best use it to go see “Puss in Boots” again America. Or, you know, maybe spend some time with friends and loved ones in a social setting where communication is not only accepted, but encouraged.
                Nah I’m just kidding. Go sit in the cold, forgiving darkness and watch “Puss in Boots” again! You earned it!
                J. Edgar- 42% Certified Rotten (
                What the heck is it: I’m still looking forward to seeing this one despite what critics think. Clint Eastwood directs and Leo DiCaprio stars in a biopic about the life and times of FBI founder J. Edgar Hoover.
                Critics said: “Watching J. Edgar reminded this critic of sitting in a dimly lit history class after tossing back a tablespoon of NyQuil.” -Tyler Hanley, Palo Alto Weekly
                Immortals- 47% Certified Rotten (
                What the heck is it: More nonsense about ancient Greeks, gods, goddesses and huge, slow-motion, sepia-toned battle sequences. And abs. Lots and lots of abs.
                Critics said: “Sing to me, O Muse, of gods and men, of timeless legends and forgettable retreads. Speak of "Immortals," and answer in all seriousness: did you even read that awful script?” –Paul Brunick, New York Times  

                11-11-11- N/A
                What the heck is it: After a guy’s wife dies, he travels around and starts seeing the number 11 everywhere, which can only mean one thing: the end of the world. Darren Lynn Bousman (“Saw” 2,3,4) directs.
                Critics said:

                And the big winner is…
                Jack and Jill- 0% Certified Rotten
                What the heck is it: As if one Adam Sandler per movie wasn’t bad enough, this time there’s two. Sandler plays both his usual useless man-child role AND his gratingly annoying houseguest from hell sister. Awesome.
                Critics said: “More than 24 hours has passed since I watched the new Adam Sandler movie Jack and Jill and I am still dead inside.” –Mary F. Polls, Time  
                “Comedy moved on from the mid-1990s, and it's time Sandler did, too. "Jack and Jill" even gives fart jokes a bad name.” –Jake Coyle, Associated Press
                “More bluntly than ever before (and that's saying something), Sandler uses an entire film to let his loyal fans know that he thinks they're all a bunch of stupid *******.” –Jaime N. Christley, Slant Magazine

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