Thursday, December 15, 2011

News: Cheese in theaters

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-wrecked- 11%, Certified Rotten (
                What the heck is it: The third (!!!) entry in the “Alvin and the Chipmunks” saga. This time the Chipmunks and their gal pals the Chipettes get shipwrecked--- I mean chip-wrecked--- on a seemingly deserted island. The six squeaky-voiced rodents must find a way to survive, all while performing irritating, high-pitched covers of badly dated pop songs. Seriously? “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child? When’s the last time anyone thought: “You know what I miss hearing? The 30th best Destiny’s Child song!”

                What the critics said: “The film will mostly appeal to the youngest of viewers, who probably instead should be reading a book or playing in the fresh air.” -Tim Grierson, Screen International

                “If only they were truly stranded on that desert island...” -Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times
                   I’d like to throw my own submission into the ring here, even though I haven’t seen any of these movies. I feel like I’ve got a good read on what critics think: “‘Chipwrecked’ is the second worst thing that’s happened on planet Earth involving rodents and boats.” Top that lame-stream media! 

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