Tuesday, February 26, 2013

News: 'Twilight' has a big night at the Razzies

So it’s been two full days since the Oscars, which means most of Hollywood’s citizenry should finally be hangover free and be able to see colors and taste food again.
                Welcome back. To those who aren’t quite there yet, don’t worry. Just get back in bed. You’ll be there soon.
                However, in many circles, this news is far, far more important than any statue of a golden naked guy.
                The 33rdAnnual Golden Raspberry Awards were held this weekend, celebrating the worst that Hollywood has to offer.
                A few weeks back, I predicted the winners, or more accurately, losers, as one is supposed to do in these situations.
                I put on my prognosticating cap and decided the Razzies would give the “Twilight” franchise the “Lord of the Rings” treatment and send it off into the sunset riding high on a wave of spray-painted trophies.
                And it looks like I was correct. “Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II” took home a respectable seven awards, including Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Kristen Stewart), Worst Supporting Actor (Taylor Lautner), Worst Screen Couple (Lautner and 12 year-old Mackenzie Foy), Worst Screen Ensemble, Worst Remake/Rip-Off or Sequel and Worst Director (Bill Condon).
                Not too shabby.
                Now, I only predicted the top seven categories, but let’s see how I made out.
                I correctly predicted:

  •  a win for Rihanna in the Worst Supporting Actress category for her work in “Battleship”
  • Taylor Lautner and his abs would take the Worst Supporting Actor category for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
  • Lautner and 12-year-old Mackenzie Foy would take home a trophy in the Worst Onscreen Couple category again for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
  • Kristen Stewart would claim the Worst Actress crown for “Breaking Dawn Part II” and "Snow White and the Huntsman"
  • Bill Condon would be named the year’s Worst Director for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
  • and finally, “Breaking Dawn Part II” would win Worst Picture.

                Yup pretty awesome. The only blemish on my otherwise utterly spotless record? I thought Robert Pattinson would be named the Worst Actor of the year for “Breaking Dawn Part II.”
                Sadly, I underestimated the Golden Raspberry Foundation’s love affair with treating Adam Sandler like a punching bag. The formerly funny comedy bested the young heartthrob and took home the Worst Actor award for “That’s My Boy.”
                Six for seven. Now if only I could use my predictive talents for something useful and marketable, like the lottery or who’s going to win “Dancing with the Stars.” Then I’d be in business.
                Bumblebee tuna.  

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