Wednesday, January 9, 2013

And the losers are ... Razzie nomination spectacular!

Talk about timing. I’m back at this thing for three days and here comes the biggest news on the bad movie calendar. Well, second biggest, right behind anytime Uwe Boll rubs two nickels together and a movie appears.
                Ladies and gentlefellows, the nominations for the 33rd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, or Razzies as they’re known to those in the uh know, were announced today.
                The Razzies of course reward the worst Hollywood has to offer each and every year.
                This year, the Razzies went high tech and made their big announcement via a Youtube video. So if you’re not big on reading or prefer to surf the net with your eyes closed (dangerous) you can check that out.
The big winner, or loser depending on your perspective, was “Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II,” which scored 11 nods despite there only being 10 categories. It was nominated in every single category and twice in Worst Couple, the latter being a Razzie first.
Former funnyman Adam Sandler continued to be the Razzie version of Meryl Streep, as everything he touches turns to spray-painted gold. While he couldn’t quite match last year’s “Jack and Jill” debacle (it won everything, sweeping all 10 categories, also a Razzie first) with his latest, called “That’s My Boy,” the film still racked up an impressive 8 nominations.   
                As per tradition, let’s take a look at the races in some of the bigger categories, and I’ll offer my predictions on who’s going to take home a spray-painted trophy  (Predicted winners are in bold/underline).
                 Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel, Playing for Keeps and Total Recall
Brooklyn Decker, Battleship
Ashley Green, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Rihanna, Battleship

Worst Supporting Actor

David Hasselhoff, Piranha 3-DD
Taylor Lautner, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Liam Neeson, Battleship and Wrath of the Titans
Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy
Vanilla Ice, That’s My Boy
 Worst Screen Couple

Any combination of two “Jersey Shore” cast members, Three Stooges
Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Taylor Perry and his drag get-up, Madea’s Witless Protection
Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester or Andy Samberg, That’s My Boy

  Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: The Spirit of Vengeance and Seeking Justice
Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words
Robert Pattinson, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Tyler Perry (not in drag), Alex Cross and Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds
Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy
                Worst Actress

Katherine Heigl, One for the Money
Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil: Retribution
Tyler Perry (in drag), Madea’s Witless Protection
Kristen Stewart, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II and Snow White and the Hunstman
Barbra Streisand, Guilt Trip

 Worst Director

Sean Anders, That’s My Boy
Peter Berg, Battleship
Bill Condon, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds and Madea’s Witless Protection
John Putch, Atlas Shrugged: Part II
Worst Picture

Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
That’s My Boy
Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II
A Thousand Words

                Basically, the Razzies are going to send the "Twilight" franchise off in style, riding a "Return of the King"-like wave of trophies into moviegoers nightmares, where it will remain for all of time. It won't be a clean sweep because what fun would that be two years in a row, but it will be close. Get those bets in now, “winners” will be announced on Oscars Eve, Saturday, February 23.
                Bumblebee tuna.

Info: Razzies

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