Monday, February 11, 2013

Cheese List Preview

This week’s Cheese List entry is part of a blockbuster cinematic franchise. In it, a group of seemingly average people run afoul of an ancient Norse god. A god who delights in raining mischief down on all those around him. A god called … Loki.
                That’s right! In a shocking twist worthy of Attitude-era WWF, this week’s Cheese List feature is this summer’s hit superhero epic “The Avengers!” What? The world is off its axis! Up is down, left is right, pigeons are eagles! Chaos reigns supre … 

                Oh wait. Scratch that. This week’s movie does feature Loki, but it’s not “The Avengers.” It’s “Son of the Mask” starring Jamie Kennedy and Alan Cumming.
                Whoops. Well, at least all is right in the world. We can all sleep this evening, pigeons can resume their usual assignments. Bullet dodged.

                Credentials: 2.1 out of 10 ( // 6%, Certified Rotten ( // 20 out of 100 ( // Nominated for eight Razzies at the 2006 Golden Raspberry Awards (Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor- Jamie Kennedy, Worst On-screen Couple- Jamie Kennedy and anyone else in the movie, Worst Supporting Actor- Alan Cumming, Worst Supporting Actor- Bob Hoskins, Worst Remake or Sequel. Won for Worst Remake or Sequel.
                Now let’s hear what our friends the critics had to say:
                Garth Franklin, from Dark Horizons, said: “Sequels without their original stars are usually sent direct to video. Some deserve better, [but] this isn't one of those.”
                “Sequels without their original stars are usually sent direct to video. Some deserve better, [but] this isn't one of those,” lamented David Germain, from the Desert News, Salt Lake City.
            On the positive side of things, Ed Gonzalez from Slant Magazine pointed out: “You mean, that's the same place they shot the police station in Blade Runner? Well, guess I'm buying this DVD post haste.
                And then there was this. Andrea Gronvall, from Chicago Reader said this, um thing: “Whatever possessed director Lawrence Guterman and writer Lance Khazei to transform the sequel to 1994's libidinous hit comedy into pabulum?” Uhhhhh … yeah? Take that or something. I use those words all the time too. Totally. In fact, I just called this guy a pabulum today cuz he was ticking me off. Blew his mind.
                Bumblebee tuna.

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