‘Centipede III’ is … sigh … a-go
Here’s a bit of news that’s even more topical considering yesterday’s Earth-shattering … hmm … well maybe not quite shattering, Earth-light scratching announcement of “Human Centipede II: Full Sequence” as the first review of the Cheese List re-launch.
Tom Six, the noted Dutch weirdo yet undeniably snazzy dresser behind the first two centipede films, has proclaimed to the world that “Centipede III” is totally and irreversibly on.
The film had hit a bit of a snag last March when Dieter Laser --- who played the demented doctor in the first film --- decided to back out of part three. Perhaps he finally got around to actually watching the movies? Guy’s got a busy Netflix queue, give him a break.
Naturally, Six responded by threatening to sue Laser for breach of contract. More squabbling ensued and eventually the two oddballs with the coolest names in the business kissed and made up. Or sacrificed a whole flock of chickens together. Whatever they do in their spare time.
So Laser is in and part three is all set to begin filming in May. According to Six’s sister and co-producer Ilona, Laser will star alongside “Human Centipede II” lead Laurence R. Harvey as the main baddies in the new film. However, they’ll both be playing entirely new characters because this series isn’t metta or confusing enough yet.
Sister Six also dropped this ditty: the human centipede in part three will be over 500 people long so yeah. Go big or go home.
New ‘Transformers’ people news
Two things right off the bat: Yup, they’re still making “Transformers” movies and yup they’re still casting people to “act” in them.
Michael Bay has already suckered all-around man’s man, but slightly gullible (see: “The Happening”) Mark Wahlberg into signing on to this fresh CGI nightmare.
Joining the muscular Wahlberg brother is … drumroll … 21-year-old Irish/American actor/total dreamboat Jack Reynor!!.
Not exactly me announcing I’d be watching “Human Centipede II” or anything, but I guess this counts as big news.
You may or may not know Reynor from the short-lived TV series “Dollhouse” from Joss “Josh” Whedon where I can only he assumed he played a dreamy person of some sort.
According to the Bay himself, the series is going in a totally new direction, so we can only hope it’s going to try to not-suck for a while. Dumping Shia LeBeouf for Wahlberg is a fantastic start. Sadly, Michael Bay is still involved, but the world’s an imperfect place.