This week's Cheese List preview

After the literal poop-storm that was “Human Centipede II,” I think we all need a bit of a palate cleanser. So this week’s entry on The Cheese List is a little bit of lighter fare. It’s a comedy from one of the genre’s true living legends.

                Jack McCall is a smooth-talking literary agent who never met a deal he couldn’t close. Unfortunately, closing those deals often means telling a couple of fibs here or there. One day, McCall fibs to the wrong guy --- a new agey spiritual guru type --- and winds up the proud owner of a cursed tree with a thousand leaves. Every time McCall says a word, a leaf falls off the tree, and you don’t have to be a new agey spiritual guru to know that when that tree is naked, bad things are going to happen. So McCall’s got to find a way to make things right before he runs out of leaves. But remember! It’s a comedy!

                Ladies and buoys, here’s “A Thousand Words,” starring Eddie Murphy.

                Credentials: 0%, Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com) // 5.6 out of 10 (Imdb.com) // 26 out of 100 (Metacritic.com)

                Nominated for 3 Razzies at the 33^rd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards --- Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Eddie Murphy), Worst Screenplay    

                James Luxford from The National called it “a poorly conceived and startlingly miscast comedy that works to every one of its stars’ weaknesses.”

                “Makes The Adventures of Pluto Nash look like Beverly Hills Cop!” raved Kam Williams from AALBC.com.

                But, as always, there were some positives. Linda Cook from the Quad City Times, mustered “‘A Thousand Words’ is not unspeakably awful.”

                It might not be great, but at least there will be slightly fewer people stapled together mout-to-butt. I mean, I can take 2-3, but twelve was too many. A man has limits.

                Bumblebee tuna.