Thursday, January 5, 2012

News: Cheese in Theaters

                What the heck is it: It’s January, which means there has to be at least one exorcism movie out. Thanks for that, Barack Obama. Seems stuff like this only happens when the democrats are in charge. So, “The Devil Inside” is about a young lady whose mom is possessed by demons. The young lady seeks out some priests to help her. They agree and poop starts to hit the fans. Lots of body contortions and babbling in Latin ensue. Yawn. It looks like there might be some shaky cam stuff in this movie too, so have at it.    
                What critics said: “The ending for The Devil Inside was so bad and people were jeering so loudly you would have thought Mel Gibson just walked into the synagogue on Saturday.” -Willie Waffle,
                “Here it is just the first week of January, and already we have a strong candidate for the worst movie of 2012.” -Peter Howell, Toronto Star (Not from 'Beneath the Darkness' sadly)

                What the heck is it: It stars Dennis Quaid. These days that alone should be enough to have you running, screaming in the opposite direction. If you need more: Quaid plays a mortician whose wife passes away. One day some kids spot him dancing around in his house with a mysterious woman. He leaves and they break in to investigate. Oh by the way, his house is also a funeral home… dun dun duunnnn!!!
                What critics said: “A malformed, would-be horror shocker with a deliriously deranged performance by Dennis Quaid, who unfortunately seems to be the only one onboard who thinks he's in a comedy.” -John Anderson, Variety

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