Friday, January 20, 2012

Cheese in Theaters

Red Tails--- 33%, Certified Rotten

What is it: In order to help win WWII, the US government turns to an untested group of Africa-American pilots from the Tuskegee training program. Terrence Howard and GASP! Cuba Gooding Jr. star. Where the heck have you been Cuba? Guess someone got a little jealous watching Hartnett and Affleck doing all that flying in “Pearl Harbor,” eh?

What critics said: “A feature film that falls much closer to the goofy ‘Hogan's Heroes’ in the spectrum of World War II-focused productions than ‘Saving Private Ryan.’” ---Mary F. Pols, TIME Magazine

                “That the script for a film that has been in some form of development for over 20 years should be so stilted and, well, dumb simply boggles the mind.” ---Scott Collura, IGN Movies

Underworld: Awakening--- 27%, Certified Rotten

What is it: The fourth installment in the vampires vs. werewolves franchise features the return of the lovely Kate Beckinsale as the vampire warrior Selene. She skipped out on part three, as did I. Coincidence? Probably. Anyway, this time around she got to deal with evil nasty human beings who are determined to wipe out vampires and werewolves forever. The always delightful Stephen Rea joins the cast as a conniving human type.   

What critics said: “It's not awful enough to be considered truly dreadful but it's just shockingly asleep for a movie subtitled ‘Awakening.’” -Brian Tallerico,

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