News: 'Godzilla' goes classy?

drewminh.net

Excuse me while I do my best “dopey NFL analyst” impression:  “When you’re talking about cheesy movies, you’re talking about ‘Godzilla!’”

                Sure that’s a hacky way of putting it, but it’s also hard to argue with I mean, bad dubbing, guys in monster suits stepping on model buildings, it’s all pretty cheesy. Even the original, as smart as it is, is totally guilty.

                But then along comes all this talk about a remake. A remake written by Frank Darabont, the guy who helped bring “The Walking Dead” to the small screen and who also made a little thing called “The Shawshank Redemption.” That’s what we in the business call a heavy hitter.

                And now there’s this tidbit: Bryan Cranston, star of TV’s “Breaking Bad” and Elizabeth Olsen, or as you may know her, “The Good Olsen,” are currently in talks to star in this thing.

                Nothings official yet, but holy hell! The “Godzilla” remake is shaping up to be pretty f’n awesome. I’m not sure how to handle all this. My head’s spinning.

                I mean the studio’s got to hire Michael Bay to direct this thing, right? Just to balance it all out. There’s simply way too much class.

                Hell, at least put a guy in a rubber monster suit for old time’s sake, what do you say?

                After all, if you can’t count on “Godzilla” to be cheesy, then my god, what can you count on? We’ll see how this whole thing plays out. The remake hits theaters May 16, 2014, just in time for yours truly’s birthday, by the by.

                Info: Arrow in the Head

News: 'Evil Dead' is on the move

January is known as a fabled breeding ground for awful movies. While theaters may be packed to the gills with ’em, news outlets are pretty bare.

                But, by god I promised daily updates and that’s just what I’m going to do.

                Yesterday we talked about the nonsense-looking “Robocop” remake and judged the crap out of it even though it’s still well over a year away from stumbling drunkenly into theaters. Good times.

                So let’s keep that remake train a-rolling today and talk about another remake of a classic gore-fest, “The Evil Dead.”

                Now “Evil Dead ...” well, I’m not sure what to make of this thing. The trailers are insanely brutally violent, which is promising and true to the spirit of the original. But remakes are tough and they rarely work better than the thing they’re redoing. Also, the new one has to top Bruce Campbell, which is damn near impossible.

                The potential for disaster is strong with this one.

                Anyway, the powers that be in Hollywood started shuffling movies around and low and behold “The Evil Dead” remake has itself a brand new release date --- a full week earlier!

                That’s right, now we can all watch demons mutilate themselves on the big screen on April 5^th! Going to be a busy weekend for yours truly as the “Jurassic Park” 3-D re-release also hits screens that day and I love me some dinosaurs.

                So there you go. It’s not much, but it’s news.

                Bumblebee tuna.

                Info: Ain’t It Cool

News: New 'Robocop' pic

As you are probably already sadly aware, there’s a “Robocop” remake coming down the pipes.

 The first image of the new Robocop came out a few months back and the general consensus among us anonymous, faceless internet types was that it looked super-lame. Super mega mega lame.

                Here it is again:

Buzzpatrol.com

                Basically, it looks just like a guy in a suit. Which I guess is technically exactly what it is, but …

                OH! Also, I think it sorta looks like this:

Movieweb.com

                Yeah, "GI Joe." Definitely a horrible sign. Anyway so today another picture from the set hit the webs and it is equal parts unappetizing and meh. Here's the new one:

ArrowintheHead.com

               

                That happy-looking fellow is a Robocop prototype called the EM-208 Humanoid Drone.

                In addition to “GI Joe,” this movie seems to have also taken a few cues from “Iron Man,” as well.

                What I guess I’m trying to say is, with all those other movies, do we need this? The answer is of course a resounding no, but Hollywood’s got sacks with dollar signs on them that need fillin’ so here we are.

                Robocop shoots his way through Old Detroit in theaters very nearly one year from now, February 7th, 2014.

                Bumblebee tuna.

                Info: Arrow in the Head

News: 'Turtles' has a start day, fanboy call to arms

landonhowell.com

If you still haven’t recovered from the bloated spectacle that was the "Transformers" Trilogy (more coming!) you might want to hide some more of your beloved childhood action figures.

We’ve got Michael Bay news.  

In case you missed it, Bay is producing a new version of the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Because we’ve gotten dumber as a society since the heroes in a half-shell first made their debut in the mid 80’s, the title has been simplified to “Ninja Turtles,” removing any extra words and plot points, so our primitive modern brains can fully comprehend it.   

The film is set to be directed by Jonathan Liebesman, the man who made the very dumb, but still entertaining killer tooth fairy movie "Darkness Falls." "Turtles"even has a release date: May 16, 2014.

New rumors are swirling across the internets these days that production is officially set to begin this April --- imagine that! --- in New York City.

You heard it fanboys, this is our Occupy Wall Street moment. Time to get off the couches in our parent’s basements, put down those extra-sided die and head to the Big Apple in April to protest Michael Bay’s latest attempt to urinate all over our collective childhoods!

 Together we stand! Together we … ah who am I kidding? We’re all going to see this movie opening weekend like a bunch of suckers and then spend the next six months complaining about it anonymously on the internet. Because we’re fanboys and gals. It’s what we do.

Info: ComingSoon

News: Rock moves, 'Exorcist' hits the small screen

Dude is huge!

Rock gets jiggy... with March...

of next year

                Brace yourselves chickadees. The Rock is on the move.

                Paramount has decided to move Mr. The Rock’s latest work, “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” out of its June 29 release date and push it all the way back until March 29, 2013.

                These sorts of moves are rarely a good sign (remember poor “Piranha 3DD”).

                Paramount is insisting this isn’t a quality-related move, but was done to allow director John Chu time to convert it into 3-D.

                Also, the People’s Champ (Rock, duh) has said additional scenes are being designed to add to the 3D experience of it all. I can only assume--- and hope--- those scenes involve The Rock’s biceps is some way, shape or form. Am I right ladies? You know what I’m talking about! Up top!

                Regardless of release date, I’ll be seeing “G.I. Joe 2” even though I never saw or cared about part one, for the same reason I saw “Fast Five” despite not seeing most of the “Fast and the Furious” sequels: The Rock makes everything better.

                Source: Huffington Post

Getting Aja vibes from this guy...

‘Exorcist’ heads to TV

                If there was ever a film franchise known for its eternal, rock-solid quality and consistency, it was “The Exorcist.”

                Whoops! There I go again, confusing “Exorcist” and “The Godfather.” Silly me!

                No, “The Exorcist” franchise is a wildly inconsistent, borderline schizophrenic mess consisting of a classic (“The Exorcist”), an offensive steaming pile (“The Exorcist II: The Heretic”), two duds (“The Exorcist: The Beginning” and “Dominion”) and one pretty decent effort (“The Exorcist III: Legion”).

                And now you can go on ahead and add a TV show into the mix.

                Sean Durkin, writer-director of “Martha Marcy May Marlene” is working on a ten episode TV series based around the events of the first film. But don’t call it a remake!

                The series outline goes like this, according to Vulture:

“Durkin’s version of THE EXORCIST follows the events leading up to a demonic possession and especially the after-effects of how a family copes with it: In short, not well (really, after you start seeing stuff like this, can you blame them?), and when medical and psychiatric explanations fail, the desperate family turns to the church, with Father Damien Karras finally brought in to attempt the exorcism.”

Can I get a meh? I always ask myself in these situations: Do we need this? I mean, really need it? Don’t think so.  

I may not be at all interested in this project, but the horror genre’s history with TV is as unruly and unpredictable as “The Exorcist” franchise, so maybe this is a match made in… hell… after all.

Get it? Hell? Cuz it’s about demons. Slap those knees!

Source: JoBlo