tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7669311743186308282024-02-19T08:59:11.575-08:00The Cheese ListOne Man's Super-Sized Search for the Worst Movie of All-TimeColin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.comBlogger229125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-39308753254868172792013-03-06T17:02:00.001-08:002013-03-06T17:02:15.717-08:00News: 'Twilight' is a big ol' sin<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Hating on “Twilight” is old hat and, frankly, a little blow
this here blog. I’ve purposefully avoided reviewing any of these movies because
A) I know I’m going to hate them all, and B) They weren’t meant for me, they
were meant for people who loved the books for some reason.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So
yeah, no point in reviewing ’em. I’m a busy man. I need to follow Wes Craven
and Alex Aja around and yell at them for things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And yet
here we are on this Wednesday evening. We were promised snow and thus far,
nothing. It’s an evening of lies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
also an evening of no interesting news stories on the bad movie front. No stories
at all … except … for …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
good folks over at CinemaSins have set their critical eyes on “Twilight.” In
case you’re unfamiliar with their work, the CinemaSins gang has produced such
hit Youtube videos as “Everything Wrong with ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ in 3
Minutes or Less,” “Everything Wrong with ‘Avatar in 3 Minutes or Less,” and “Everything
Wrong with ‘The Hunger Games’ in 3 Minutes or Less.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Basically,
they go in and mock/nitpick a movie until it can be mocked and nitpicked no
more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And boy
do they go to town on “Twilight.” The wind up finding over a 100 things wrong
with the movie, many of which involved Kristen Stewart’s dead-fish portrayal of
Bella Swan.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For comparison's sake, that's over 40 more problems than they found with "Skyfall," despite that movie being way longer than "Twilight." </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You can check out the video if
you’d like right here.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ghPsLcuLHHU?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Personally,
I’ll stick with MST3K and Rifftrax, but to each their own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Source</b></u>:
<a href="http://entertainment.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/06/17209554-twilights-got-over-100-problems-and-bella-is-one-say-viral-video-critics?lite" target="_blank">NBC News</a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-46204894102166766602013-03-05T15:55:00.001-08:002013-03-05T15:55:36.932-08:00News: Oooooh! 'Evil' sequels everywhere<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><b><span style="font-size: large;">Raimi makes everyone's day </span></b><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The “Evil Dead” remake is right around the corner and the horror
world is holding its breath in a sickly mix of fear and anticipation. Will it
be good? Will it suck horribly? Is there even the slightest chance of a Bruce
Campbell cameo?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many questions, but no answers until one
month from today, April 5 of this year. Until then. We wait.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well,
we wait and we get this news from BleedingCool.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>While
pimping his latest effort, “Oz: The Great and Powerful” in London, original “Evil
Dead” director Sam Raimi dropped a bombshell.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He
wants to make “Evil Dead 4.” Not a remake, reboot or reimagining. An honest-to-God
American sequel. Or four-ple.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He added that he and his brother (most likely
Ivan) plan on working on the script … wait for it … this summer!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
isn’t some idle pillow talk from Raimi. This sounds like a frigging plan!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just
wonderful news. So even if the remake ends up as a massive disaster, there’s a
potential sequel to the original franchise looming on the horizon, just waiting
to make everything OK.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>God
speed Raimi brothers. Make it so!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Source</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.bleedingcool.com/2013/03/01/sam-raimi-plans-to-write-evil-dead-4-this-summer/" target="_blank">BleedingCool</a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieVT9SZ35qoFZEuLd4loT6hxdWe5n5EKchNT5TPIbMQk1cWZ7VLb5K-wSD3sVoGcRCfICyOUYI_FzQiFC2HvUqzsM7Alj0017yd5OyhInIIEF6cA3ZNHba49CCqx9aSvcq0hghat85j94X/s1600/paul+and+mila.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieVT9SZ35qoFZEuLd4loT6hxdWe5n5EKchNT5TPIbMQk1cWZ7VLb5K-wSD3sVoGcRCfICyOUYI_FzQiFC2HvUqzsM7Alj0017yd5OyhInIIEF6cA3ZNHba49CCqx9aSvcq0hghat85j94X/s1600/paul+and+mila.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Add caption</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Is the sun setting on 'Resident Evil'? </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
then there’s this sequel news. Not as exciting, or really at all exciting, but
you know. It’s a thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
more “Resident Evil” a-coming. Well, at least one more.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sony
has greenlit “Resident Evil 6” and given it a release date of September 12,
2014. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No confirmation
yet on whether the bad Paul Anderson will be back to direct, or if his lovely wife
Mila Jovovich will return for part six, but duh. They’ll be there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
part four came out, Anderson did lots of talking about how he was starting up a
new trilogy of films, meaning this one could very well be the last of the Anderson/Jovovich
“Resident Evil” film series.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So
yeah. Grab some tissues and such. It’s so hard … to say goodbye … to yesterday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m
strongly, strongly considering a “Resident Evil” week or marathon or something
where I watch all five of these movies. Well, really, I don’t think the first
one belongs on The Cheese List. That’s a good movie. Part two sucks and I haven’t
seen the rest.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ll
keep you posted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Source</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.shocktillyoudrop.com/news/172723-sony-sets-a-release-date-for-resident-evil-6?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter" target="_blank">Shock Til You Drop</a> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-23121480623545554762013-03-04T06:00:00.000-08:002013-03-04T06:00:10.302-08:00Cheese List Preview<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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This week’s Cheese List entry is focused on two things:
hockey and the fine art of woo-ing a fella or lady depending on your
preference. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was
co-written by and stars a comedy icon. He’s a former “SNL”-er who has created
some of the most memorable big screen characters of all time.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Also in
there is one of the most successful musicians of our time. A guy who once made
time with the leading lady from last week’s Cheese List movie.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
film tells the story of a pro hockey player who needs a little help with the
ladies before he can truly make it big.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m of
course talking about Mike Myers and Justin “J.T.” Timberlake! The movie… well,
it’s “The Love Guru.” </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Credentials:14%,
Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com) // 3.8 out of 10 (Imdb.com) //24 out of
100 (Metacritic.com) // Nominated for 7 Golden Raspberry Awards at the 2009
Razzies, won 3 (Worst Actor- Mike Myers, Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay)</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s
just deadly,” said Richard Roeper of Ebert and Roeper. Hmmm… let’s hope he was
exaggerating just slightly or a whole lot. I’m not that dedicated to this unpaid
blogging venture.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It's a
rare film that makes a reviewer consider giving up the movies altogether. My
own Waterloo came forty-five minutes into ‘The Love Guru’ when I briefly
considered stabbing out my own eyes so that I wouldn't have to watch it anymore,”
said Joshua Starnes from ComingSoon.net. I’m seriously beginning to regret this
decision.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I
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full of childlike wonderment and such. So yeah. Good news.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna.</div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-21121690255653871022013-03-01T06:00:00.000-08:002013-03-01T06:00:05.730-08:00Review: Crossroads<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpP_4zY-pLgTFb8_VvJytRqTXzWkes-0QDvOyJOQxPYkEFPsZzGxq77D-JACcLEwvdsre84pY83lM_H7OTH_Qn7bg_Upyc1ATBDRzOcXQU6LfDC50sdKVIpzQI2jnhyphenhyphenxQDlSru0cOxrS3j/s1600/crossroads.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpP_4zY-pLgTFb8_VvJytRqTXzWkes-0QDvOyJOQxPYkEFPsZzGxq77D-JACcLEwvdsre84pY83lM_H7OTH_Qn7bg_Upyc1ATBDRzOcXQU6LfDC50sdKVIpzQI2jnhyphenhyphenxQDlSru0cOxrS3j/s1600/crossroads.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Plot</b></u>: Three adorable, precocious little girls bury a shoebox
filled with all their hopes and dreams for the future. Several years later,
upon their high school graduation, the girls return to dig up the box, just
like they swore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only problem is? Well,
they all kinda hate each other now. One of them grew up to be Britney Spears,
the other grew up to be a trashy trailer park gal with a lisp, a baby in her
belly and a heart of gold (Taryn Manning), and the other one is now a bitchy
Queen Bee type (Zoe Saldana). So even though they hate each other, they still
dig up the box and then pretty much out of the blue, they decide to take a road
trip together to California. Seems the trailer park gal wants to take part in
some kind of singing competition, the Queen Bee wants to go see her boyfriend and
the Brit would just love to see her estranged mom who lives in Arizona. Only problem?
They need someone to drive them there. Luckily there’s a generic good-looking
guy hanging around town who may or may not have been in jail for murder. After
all, what could possibly go wrong for three young ladies traveling cross
country with a suspected homicidal maniac? Oh …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Thoughts</b></u>: Well, luckily for our three leading ladies, “Crossroads”
ain’t that kind of movie. Turns out the guy is not a killer and in addition to
being extremely, generically handsome, he also has a heart of gold.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh
well. You get lucky sometimes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, let’s
see. “Crossroads.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbsx8NJwLBawXejrgWWdddXHV6IFUa-OAsLGtQQ_SyEBu4hjPPPJiCXWz9NeE2BLplVQ3lzlsn5XNU09oN1dofd-O5cr50qECuWf80AiiR3iOnwjxIayXVltStZpxBCNpIDB73E53UC7T/s1600/crossroads+rc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibbsx8NJwLBawXejrgWWdddXHV6IFUa-OAsLGtQQ_SyEBu4hjPPPJiCXWz9NeE2BLplVQ3lzlsn5XNU09oN1dofd-O5cr50qECuWf80AiiR3iOnwjxIayXVltStZpxBCNpIDB73E53UC7T/s400/crossroads+rc.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Mixed bag of acting, weak, shallow and cliche story, a total lack of focus, but the adorable Taryn Manning would almost, almost make me OK with watching it again many years from now.</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>People throw
around the term “star vehicle” to describe movies built for the sole purpose of
putting over an actor or actress. Never before has that term been so accurate.
Everything in “Crossroads” exists solely to serve Brit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everything
in the movie is hers for the taking. Spoiler alert, she gets the generically
handsome dude, even though he started out sort of friendly with the trailer
park gal. While she’s at it, Brit also takes the trailer park gal’s lifelong
dream of becoming a singer and gets to perform at the big singing competition.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Somehow,
through all those trials and tribulations, the trailer park gal never loses her
spunk or her positive outlook on life. Even after she has a miscarriage. Oh,
did I forget to mention that? Yeah, her baby dies. There’s some random heavy
stuff in this movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
girl gets so much crap dumped on her throughout the movie (she was raped
earlier in her life, too, told you about the heavy stuff) it’s mind boggling that
trailer park gal never just absolutely loses her mind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when she has to sit there and
listen to the other two girls complain about their lives. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh
boo-hoo Brit, your mom doesn’t love you and Queen Bee, your boyfriend cheated
on you. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Needless
to say, it’s kind of hard to care about the other two leading ladies. I did
really like the trailer park gal though. Taryn Manning is a cutie and how could
you not like such a punching bag of a character? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s
not forget the fact that there’s really no reason for these three girls to be
together. They haven’t been friends for years, in fact, Brit and the Queen Bee
are depicted as basically enemies at the start. Yet all that goes away almost
for good at the first mention of the word road trip. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In addition
to the clunky story, “Crossroads” just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense as a
movie. It’s meant for younger girls, I guess, due to Brittney being in it, but
there’s underage drinking, premarital sex, endless examples of parental authority
being ignored. Not a great message to send to kids. Also, Britney dancing
around for long stretches of time in her undies sends a weird message too. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Allow
me to get philosophical for a moment. Perhaps, like the soundtrack’s big hit “I’m
Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman,” “Crossroads” is stuck in the middle. It’s got too
much adult stuff to work for kids and is too mind-numbingly hollow and Britney-centric
to be geared towards adults. So it’s stuck somewhere out in the middle, not
really doing much of anything for anyone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The few
times Britney gets to stretch her chops as an actress are kind of a mixed bag.
She’s got one good scene with the generic good-looking dude after her mom
rejects her, but she’s got plenty of other clunkers that cancel it out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
rest of the cast, including Dan Akroyd as Brit’s loving, but overwhelming
father, is completely forgettable outside of Manning. Everyone else, feh!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Worst
of the Worst</b></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Britney
and the generic good-looking guy sit around a piano to turn a poem she wrote into
a moving, beautiful song. Well, they try anyway. The song’s terrible and they’ve
got the exact opposite of chemistry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
scene is super uncomfortable to watch and man is that one of the most childish
and stupid songs ever written? Brit, lose the heavy-handed messages and stick
to catchy pop tunes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There
you go, “Crossroads.” Bumblebee tuna.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-65147722065779171592013-02-28T16:02:00.003-08:002013-02-28T16:02:40.879-08:00News: Disney prepares 'super-finger' for 'Cars' fans<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfEcjA1WEM1fI08hIqcZlHvAlw_U_A2cKJXh-ShbBXPRmTgkXGbuTcEsSHNXb9tg3Oy2MrVD5SrTYkBj1fFtUNovXZZxuHMfpAISlVnzlR2Zd1C8aeDf-mJl12SlnO3t9eFbzXRqoDiSbN/s1600/cook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfEcjA1WEM1fI08hIqcZlHvAlw_U_A2cKJXh-ShbBXPRmTgkXGbuTcEsSHNXb9tg3Oy2MrVD5SrTYkBj1fFtUNovXZZxuHMfpAISlVnzlR2Zd1C8aeDf-mJl12SlnO3t9eFbzXRqoDiSbN/s1600/cook.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Last.FM</td></tr>
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Remember the days when Dane Cook ruled the world?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>:<a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/dane-cook-to-lead-the-voice-cast-of-disneys-planes-the-spin-off-of-what-else-cars">Joblo</a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-56504161169841777852013-02-27T16:29:00.002-08:002013-02-27T16:29:53.248-08:00News: Bad Paul Anderson invades Pompeii<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8nKJBFK0iSCHD5JBPkKcZvRW0gSuJEyHpkzERh5aBFIuU6O-sCwnt203GiCkbnrO-KhqWMKxx3rI8Vu8TBVPl78399hu58Ku9EpxKZ79_xZBdOVhmtj_W87jcN5Cx1SISR7nBqb3mRRMn/s1600/paul+and+mila.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8nKJBFK0iSCHD5JBPkKcZvRW0gSuJEyHpkzERh5aBFIuU6O-sCwnt203GiCkbnrO-KhqWMKxx3rI8Vu8TBVPl78399hu58Ku9EpxKZ79_xZBdOVhmtj_W87jcN5Cx1SISR7nBqb3mRRMn/s1600/paul+and+mila.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kotaku.com</td></tr>
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I don’t have any kids. I’ve got two cats that I refer to as
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and look nothing like me and are from another species. So yeah, cats no kids.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But one
day, when I do have children who are from the same species, in addition to the
usual stuff like potty training and how ride a bike, there’s one life lesson I’ll
probably spend a significant portion of time on:</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The epic
saga of the “Good Paul Anderson” and the “Bad Paul Anderson,” or as they prefer
to be called Paul Thomas Anderson, director of critical darlings like “There
Will Be Blood” and “Boogie Nights” and Paul W.S. Anderson, director of mostly
crap. Fun crap, but crap nonetheless. </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Anyway,
so a quick summary of said saga: Paul Thomas spends months slaving over his art,
he has critics falling over themselves for a whiff of his socks and the basement/attic
full of awards, but ol’ Paul W.S. can sleepwalk through another “Resident Evil,”
get paid a giant pile of money and then go home at the end of the day to his
gorgeous wife, Milla Jovovich.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The lesson
in all this is either there’s hope for all of us or life is patently unfair …
depending on your perspective.</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIqdomdFMqAHRCbP87n9itcVKAaborhH-Tjt1xXSh0qrAiXehgUcX5-5VBavGzxpUvTuaNwXWbgrAYR9HrUU523B_rVgSrJ9kNZSPJamJVRAjEkHmeDim-ur1hdVhBR3q9Z1DhG1p0Bka8/s1600/paul+thomas+and.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIqdomdFMqAHRCbP87n9itcVKAaborhH-Tjt1xXSh0qrAiXehgUcX5-5VBavGzxpUvTuaNwXWbgrAYR9HrUU523B_rVgSrJ9kNZSPJamJVRAjEkHmeDim-ur1hdVhBR3q9Z1DhG1p0Bka8/s1600/paul+thomas+and.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CinemaBlend.com</td></tr>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So that
was really just a long and winding way of saying: Hey there, Paul W.S. Anderson
is making a new movie!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
called “Pompeii,” and it’s set in the city of Pompeii right before the volcano
Pomp… I mean, Vesuvius erupts. </div>
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Emily Browning of “Sucker Punch”
fame has just signed on to play one half of a pair of star crossed lovers. Kit
Harrington, of “Game of Thrones” (not sure who he is), is the male half.</div>
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So he ends up getting shipped out
of town right before the world goes to hell, then he decides to come back and
try to save his lady and best friend.</div>
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Apparently “The Three Musketeers”
wasn’t enough to satisfy Paul W.S. hunger for costume-action-dramas.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Shooting is set for April
everybody, so there’s still time to him to cram Milla in this thing somehow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Info: <a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/is-emily-browning-journeying-to-pompeii-for-paul-ws-anderson">Joblo</a><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-58942008732938819872013-02-26T16:56:00.000-08:002013-02-26T16:56:25.108-08:00News: 'Twilight' has a big night at the Razzies<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmV2O6Tk3ADlPDbR_FVd42J7rwGlJC2KNMpNCKaL_Xyk9tZZLnMjfOQ9sxhLSm2CKIFhgPbviqcy0kz-qBTMT-aNNGhDjYBCcsKmhGJ-75KxLNf5UZKKv16mn8r2ydBzMSNmP-PIcnrAZC/s1600/twilight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmV2O6Tk3ADlPDbR_FVd42J7rwGlJC2KNMpNCKaL_Xyk9tZZLnMjfOQ9sxhLSm2CKIFhgPbviqcy0kz-qBTMT-aNNGhDjYBCcsKmhGJ-75KxLNf5UZKKv16mn8r2ydBzMSNmP-PIcnrAZC/s1600/twilight.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So it’s been two full days since the Oscars, which means most
of Hollywood’s citizenry should finally be hangover free and be able to see
colors and taste food again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Welcome
back. To those who aren’t quite there yet, don’t worry. Just get back in bed.
You’ll be there soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>However,
in many circles, this news is far, far more important than any statue of a
golden naked guy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The <a href="http://www.razzies.com/history/13winners.asp">33rdAnnual Golden Raspberry Awards</a> were held this weekend, celebrating the worst
that Hollywood has to offer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A few
weeks back, <a href="http://cheese-list-movies.blogspot.com/2013/01/and-losers-are-razzie-nomination.html">I predicted the winners</a>, or more accurately, losers, as one is
supposed to do in these <a href="http://cheese-list-movies.blogspot.com/2012/04/news-sandler-is-king-of-razzies.html">situations</a>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I put
on my prognosticating cap and decided the Razzies would give the “Twilight”
franchise the “Lord of the Rings” treatment and send it off into the sunset
riding high on a wave of spray-painted trophies. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And it
looks like I was correct. “Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II” took home a
respectable seven awards, including <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst
Picture</span>, <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Actress</span> (<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Kristen Stewart</span>), <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Supporting Actor</span> (<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Taylor Lautner</span>), <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Screen Couple</span> (Lautner and 12
year-old <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Mackenzie Foy</span>), <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Screen Ensemble,</span> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Remake/Rip-Off or Sequel</span> and <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Worst Director</span> (<span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Bill Condon</span>).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Not too
shabby. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now, I only
predicted the top seven categories, but let’s see how I made out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I correctly
predicted:</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a win for Rihanna in the Worst Supporting
Actress category for her work in “Battleship”</li>
<li>Taylor
Lautner and his abs would take the Worst Supporting Actor category for “Breaking
Dawn Part II”</li>
<li>Lautner
and 12-year-old Mackenzie Foy would take home a trophy in the Worst Onscreen
Couple category again for “Breaking Dawn Part II”</li>
<li><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Kristen Stewart would claim the Worst Actress
crown for “Breaking Dawn Part II” and "Snow White and the Huntsman"</li>
<li>Bill
Condon would be named the year’s Worst Director for “Breaking Dawn Part II”</li>
<li>and
finally, “Breaking Dawn Part II” would win Worst Picture.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yup
pretty awesome. The only blemish on my otherwise utterly spotless record? I
thought Robert Pattinson would be named the Worst Actor of the year for “Breaking
Dawn Part II.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sadly, I
underestimated the Golden Raspberry Foundation’s love affair with treating Adam
Sandler like a punching bag. The formerly funny comedy bested the young heartthrob
and took home the Worst Actor award for “That’s My Boy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Six for
seven. Now if only I could use my predictive talents for something useful and
marketable, like the lottery or who’s going to win “Dancing with the Stars.”
Then I’d be in business. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-41707241983342351682013-02-25T06:00:00.000-08:002013-02-25T06:00:01.010-08:00Cheese List Preview<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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So this week’s Wes Craven movie is … oh wait, sorry. I guess
I owe Wes a break for a little while. But somehow I get the feeling our paths
shall cross again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
week’s Cheese List entry stars a comedy legend, one of the most recognizable
young faces in comedy, and a young actress who starred in the biggest
blockbuster of all time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh
yeah, and our leading lady just so happens to be one of the biggest music icons
of the last 20 years and perhaps ever.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dan Aykroyd.
Justin Long. Zoe Saldana. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
ladies and gentlemen, The Miss Brittany Spears. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here is
“Crossroads”</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Credentials: 14%, Certified Rotten
(Rottentomatos.com) // 3 out of 10 (Imdb.com) // 27 out of 100 (Metacritic.com)
// Nominated for Eight Razzies at the 2003 Golden Raspberry Awards, won two
(Worst Actress--- Brittany Spears, Worst Original Song--- “I’m Not a Girl, Not
Yet a Woman”)</div>
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Now it’s time to take a gander at
what the critics had to say about “Crossroads.”</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“She’s not yet an actress, not quite a
singer...” snarked Richard Roeper, of Ebert and Roeper.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“The kind of movie that seems like
a very extensive trailer for a music video coming soon to ‘Total Request Live,’”
very astutely and accurately noted Jane Dark, from Village Voice. Let this be a
lesson to you, critics. If you give “TRL” a shout out, you will get your word s
on The Cheese List. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Ian Waldron-Mantgani, UK Critic,
marveled “Crossroads” was “a bizarre piece of work, with premise and dialogue
at the level of kids’ television and plot threads as morose as teen pregnancy,
rape and suspected murder.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
On the pro side of the ball: “Spears
manages to come across on film as natural, endearing, and extremely likable,”
raved Jane Crowther from the BBC. So yeah, she seems like a person and we came
up with two ways to say she’s not a beeyotch. Party!</div>
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“Crossroads,” kids. Someone paint
Carson Daly’s nails and fire up the KoRn. All this “TRL” talk has got me fired
up!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/wT2a-xFmwH8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna. </div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-4879315722689672212013-02-22T16:42:00.001-08:002013-02-22T16:43:40.481-08:00Review: My Soul to Take<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeLarFT74b9ujBtRoeCVS0YwTqFOcPsk2aoTwpTk5S0iiyWmLReAo1bIfEBR4XkoPMVJt-sHX6DjoF9fsnyuoCKu7nKSNLRxqCh9lFZQXdR0kChJjF_uEWQtlct9732mg1V4NrFKl_TzW/s1600/my+soul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCeLarFT74b9ujBtRoeCVS0YwTqFOcPsk2aoTwpTk5S0iiyWmLReAo1bIfEBR4XkoPMVJt-sHX6DjoF9fsnyuoCKu7nKSNLRxqCh9lFZQXdR0kChJjF_uEWQtlct9732mg1V4NrFKl_TzW/s1600/my+soul.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Plot</b></u>: Sixteen years ago, the town of Riverton was haunted by
a sadistic killer with multiple personalities known as the “Riverton Ripper.”
Eventually, the cops tracked him down and sort of killed him maybe? See, when
they found him, he’d already stabbed himself a bunch of times, then they shot
him a lot, then they put him in an ambulance but the ambulance crashed and then
it exploded. But despite all that, the mystery remains: Is the Riverton Ripper
dead?? I’d frigging hope so, otherwise the guy’s real name must be Clarke Kent.
Anyway, on the night he may or may not have died, seven kids were born. Legend has
it each kid got one of the Ripper’s personalities. Flash to the present day,
the kids are all obnoxious and in several cases, really disgusting, borderline
evil teens. Shockingly, someone starts offing the kids one by one. Is the
Ripper back? Or is one of the kids doing the killing? Or is it someone … else?
Spoooooky!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Thoughts</b></u>: I’ve watched a lot of movies for this blog, and I’m
not lying when I say almost all of them have been pretty poorly written. I
mean, for god sakes <a href="http://cheese-list-movies.blogspot.com/2011/03/room-2003-take-2.html">Tommy Wiseau wrote one of them</a> and I’m almost positive he’s
insane.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
yet, I don’t think I’ve seen a movie that made less sense than “My Soul to
Take.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
biggest problem is Wes Craven. I mean, he wrote, directed and produced it so
yeah, this is clearly his fault. I feel confident saying that this is the worst
piece of crap he’s ever attached his name to and this man has attached his name
to lots of junk over the years. </div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1BGVAzlS5FXfNVm5Ixwwby8jN1f3QNkDbJqYC5xqCdSKZ0jrkzuumxD1yrSaKJEQRBPlsE4_yHrGG7crM-CyRq58ipIbkXVZbEEqJ2J9h3RD7G7D2umTYUps5432S_DG2xzzvewjd6PR/s1600/soul+rc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt1BGVAzlS5FXfNVm5Ixwwby8jN1f3QNkDbJqYC5xqCdSKZ0jrkzuumxD1yrSaKJEQRBPlsE4_yHrGG7crM-CyRq58ipIbkXVZbEEqJ2J9h3RD7G7D2umTYUps5432S_DG2xzzvewjd6PR/s400/soul+rc.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everything sucks. I'm not sure about the acting, I think it mostly might be Craven's horrible writing, but it's still not a great cast.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Craven
can’t figure out what kind of movie he wants “My Soul to Take” to be. Is it a
slasher? Or a psychological thriller? Supernatural something or other? It’s got
elements of all three sort of jumbled together into one big nasty stew.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the
plot summary I mentioned each of the seven kids got one of the Ripper’s many
personalities. Of course, one of those personalities is a psychotic killer, so
we can assume one of the kids is a killer (or is the Ripper still alive???).
That’s one. The Ripper also had a personality that was very artistic, and we
learn one of the kids is awesome at designing costumes. That’s two.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Other
than those two examples, Craven completely ignores this plot thread. And the
artistic one I had to piece together for myself while I was brushing my teeth
this morning so for all I know that wasn’t even intentional.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
also a lot of spiritual hooey about condors and how they eat the dead and
supposedly absorb the souls of their meals. Turns out, one of the kids must be
part condor because he has this power also. I mean, he doesn’t eat people, but I
guess when people die nearby, he can absorb their essence. I uh… guess. I’m
flying without a net here because none of this gets explained very clearly. It’s
all in the movie, but Craven doesn’t seem that interested.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Look,
let’s forget about all that and just focus on the only thing Wes cares at all
about: teenagers and their stupid f’n problems and relationships. This is his
wheelhouse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We spend
ample time finding out which girls our main character Bug (Max Theriot) wants
to date, and we get to see him in class and presenting a project for Biology
class, and him hanging out with his best friend, dealing with bullies. All this
time wasted on trivial issues may have been better served trying to make sense
of the rest of the plot maybe? No of course not! Kid problems!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Also, “My
Soul to Take” does something unforgivable in my book. In the movie, the kids
are constantly shown wandering around their high school, sitting in courtyards
and things but are almost never in class. This is not how any high school
works. If you don’t want to show kids sitting bored in class, make it the
weekend or after 3:30. No public high school on the planet in the year 2005
just lets students roam freely for hours at a time.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Somewhere
around the third act the movie decides it’s a slasher again and so Craven grabs
his other security blanket: talky endings. He actually does the “Scream” ending
again. You know, the one where the previously ruthlessly efficient killer can’t
stop talking about his/her grand plans and suddenly forgets how to kill things?
Wes you lazy basterd. You (and Kevin Williamson) used the same frigging ending
in four “Scream” movies and a werewolf movie, then you used it by yourself in “Red
Eye,” and now this? Are you serious?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I can’t
even. I don’t know. The story is such a disaster, the directing is a mess. The opening
sequence is an absolute joke well before the ambulance randomly explodes. I’m
not even sure how bad the acting is because the material the actors are given
is such a cluster f, it’s not super fair to judge the kids. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Still, I’ll
assume it wasn’t great. Either way, the characters are all horrible clichés.
The psycho with the abusive dad, the other psycho with the killer dad, the cute
blonde, the rapey jock, the religious freak. Don’t care about any of you. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<u><b>Worst of the Worst</b></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At one
point the killer says: “F you and f your unborn baby.” True story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I guess
the real worst scene though is the opening. It’s full of so many quick cuts and
fakeouts that it’s impossible to follow. Cops make insane decisions like
embracing seemingly dead serial killers. And the frigging ambulance blows up. Perfect
storm of craziness.</div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-26211615213111850362013-02-21T05:36:00.000-08:002013-02-22T05:36:42.119-08:00News: Halle teams up with WWE<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey, there’s a new trailer for “The Call” out there on the
web today!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I know: Blah, blah, blah, more
trailer talk. Blah, blah, blah.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hey, so
sue me, I’m a little pressed for time today so I don’t have the usual window of
about 6-7 hours to devote towards researching, writing and sending these posts
off to Taiwan for proofing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Also I
realize the irony of the guy who just typed the word “blah” six times crying
about being pressed for time. Let’s move on.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The
Call.” This is that WWE Films thriller starring noted wrestler and Oscar-winner
Halle Berry?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
That bit of casting is one I don’t
understand from either perspective. Why Halle, an OSCAR-winner, wants to toss
her name in with noted-crap-maker WWE Films is beyond me. And for that matter,
why WWE needs to waste money bringing in Halle knowing full even she isn’t a
good enough actress to trick people into thinking a bad movie is actually just
mediocre (see: “Gothika,” “Catwoman”).</div>
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I mean, I guess WWE figures this
will somehow make their little studio seem more credible, but it won’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, “Gothika,” “Catwoman.” Would have been
better off throwing all that money at The Rock to come back home and make an
awesomely dumb action movie.</div>
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So in this trailer, Halle plays a
911 operator who gets a call from a kidnapped girl and has to save her from a
demented killer. The first trailer had a whole lot of silly backstory that is
nowhere to be found in this one, so in that regard, this is a much better trailer.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
But it still looks awful. Maybe
even Cheese List awful. “The Call” slithers into theaters on March 15 of this
year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<u><b>Info</b></u>: <a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/new-trailer-for-the-call-starring-halle-berry-is-a-better-sell-than-the-first">Joblo </a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-53082526992548165732013-02-20T17:04:00.000-08:002013-02-20T17:04:08.198-08:00News: Snipes is back and fighting zombies<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJauc7zRMrtd4hbBRCMvnzL3a9LfOYw0NA9eTOPxtp2cSPmZDj27Pm4479ctelISr4GA3JPF405GwkUSUhPC7PgLbGEl0RsHlfLIBPdGKSdZQYwdOaj1_opToFQRNe8ku-tJchXLexwc7a/s1600/snipes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJauc7zRMrtd4hbBRCMvnzL3a9LfOYw0NA9eTOPxtp2cSPmZDj27Pm4479ctelISr4GA3JPF405GwkUSUhPC7PgLbGEl0RsHlfLIBPdGKSdZQYwdOaj1_opToFQRNe8ku-tJchXLexwc7a/s1600/snipes.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">hiphopnews24-7.com</td></tr>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So Wesley Snipes is back. I mean, not really. He’s still in
prison for tax evasion, but luckily he was able to find some time while on the
lam to film a new movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
amazing how that works isn’t it? Back in the day, going on the lam meant
jumping on trains when they slowed to go around a bend and hiding out in the
woods and stuff.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Times
they are a-changing indeed. Now you get to film cheesy zombie-western movies
while on the lam.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Snipes’
latest work is “GallowWalkers.” In it he plays a bounty hunter-type guy who
walks around the old west looking badass. Only problem? He just so happens to
be cursed and everyone he kills comes back to life as a sorta zombie demon creature
hell bent on revenge. Sucks. So, our hero joins forces with a fancy pants young gunman who could help
him conquer his enemies and maybe even the curse once and for all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Check out
the trailer.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/ylfZl22YiWs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“GallowWalkers”
doesn’t have a release date yet, but it looks like it could be a decent amount
of hokey fun. Snipes may not know how to fill out a tax form, but by god the man knows
one-liners and action movies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=100554">ComingSoon.net</a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-24794663637797596242013-02-19T16:30:00.001-08:002013-02-19T16:30:50.122-08:00News: 'Last Exorcism II' poster action<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7S5bxlc9OYF3Y8FqcahzxzcOg4MY6kzMrC_wPaYKUgnX8o3AFlVzy_opqZb0uHKBS2qcw2MlnP0Dqu9niPLlozFbAoVh-s0jltwunB6svPlMfTlfGkYIopZo4tDcYy_wpGKV_JHvdwP1/s1600/Last-Exorcism-Graphic-Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ7S5bxlc9OYF3Y8FqcahzxzcOg4MY6kzMrC_wPaYKUgnX8o3AFlVzy_opqZb0uHKBS2qcw2MlnP0Dqu9niPLlozFbAoVh-s0jltwunB6svPlMfTlfGkYIopZo4tDcYy_wpGKV_JHvdwP1/s320/Last-Exorcism-Graphic-Poster.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whether anyone likes it or not, “The Last Exorcism Part II”
is happening. There’s nothing you or I or any of the world’s major governing
bodies can do to stop it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Right
out of the gate, let’s just ignore the inherent contradiction of having the
words “last” and “part II” within the confines of the same title. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I mean, it doesn’t make sense.
How can the last anything have a second part? Never mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
first “Last Exorcism” was a pretty, pretty cool mockumentary-style possession flick.
It put a few new twists on the exorcism genre and had a little fun with some of
the typical conventions along the way. This one seems to go the “Blair Witch 2”
route, at least in the sense that it’s kicked the mockumentary thing to the curb
in favor of traditional moviemaking techniques.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Having
seen a handful of trailers, I’m pretty sure this movie is going to be awful,
but it’s already been shot and it’s going to theaters on March 1, so what can
we do?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That
being the case, the studio figured it might as well promote the thing, and thus
they gave us the brand new poster you can see to the left. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
well, it’s red. It’s got what looks like a pentagram scratched into it. Nell,
our leading lady looks mad. There’s a house. Yup, it’s a devil movie alright.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In “Part
II,” Nell gets to work putting her life back together after the um … tragic
events of “Part I.” But then the devil and crew show up again and things go all
to heck. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So is
this the LAST “Last Exorcism” or will there be more final chapters??? Only the
opening weekend gods can pass judgement and they ain’t talking.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.joblo.com/horror-movies/news/new-graphic-poster-for-the-last-exorcism-part-ii-possesses-you">Arrow in the Head </a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-64145684425253170582013-02-18T14:27:00.003-08:002013-02-18T14:27:46.194-08:00Cheese List preview<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not too long ago, we talked about a movie by a horror icon
who may or may not actually be very good at his job. But hey, he picked a cool
name and made 2/3 of a few great movies, so he did more than most Kardashians
anyway.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But
here we are again, talking about Wes Craven. Sixteen years ago a serial killer
vanished without a trace and, in a totally unrelated note: seven kids were
born. Now, those kids are all having their sweet sixteens and then winding up
dead. So, yeah, maybe something’s up with that missing killer guy after all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Boys
and girls, here is: “My Soul to Take.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/LjOibAVPQKk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Credentials:
9%, Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com) // 4.6 out of 10 (Imdb.com) // 25 out
of 100 (Metacritic.com)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s
see what our dear friends the critics had in store for “My Soul to Take.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Eric D.
Snider from Film.com said: “What sinks it is Craven’s simplistic, ham-fisted writing
and inert direction.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wesley
Morris, from The Boston Globe, one-upped him and called it “the worst movie
Craven’s made, perhaps ever.” Wes Craven is the same guy who used the same
ending for four separate “Scream” movies and one werewolf movie, by the way.
And before that, he used the same ending for “Hills Have Eyes,” “Last House on
the Left” and “Nightmare on Elm Street.” So yeah, he’s had his problems in the
past.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">Everyone in front of and behind the camera
look and feel like they're lifting the heaviest, least horrifying ton of bricks
invented,” raved David White, from Movies.com.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So what do I have to look
forward to here? “My Soul to Take ends up being mere Chucky cheese,” said D.K.
Holm, from the Vancouver Voice. I don’t know what that means.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna. </span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-87877947180887852202013-02-15T13:50:00.000-08:002013-02-19T16:37:14.127-08:00Review: Son of the Mask<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmVx01EM2LIkZ4K_VMw5gwLRfLNu0tYBnbeEixb9nRfitE32hKzWq8Y8PWwnG67EcSrQaf3SCxANYicPiJzYuIZk-GNexoXaIp65SuUzilNxy73IVWm8CyFDbrKhlEWtI6jhMU1TwTIxfj/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmVx01EM2LIkZ4K_VMw5gwLRfLNu0tYBnbeEixb9nRfitE32hKzWq8Y8PWwnG67EcSrQaf3SCxANYicPiJzYuIZk-GNexoXaIp65SuUzilNxy73IVWm8CyFDbrKhlEWtI6jhMU1TwTIxfj/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Plot</b></u>: Jamie Kennedy is a manchild who dresses up as a giant
turtle and entertains kids for a living. Apparently, he wants more from his
life than all that and aspires to be a cartoonist. Jamie Kennedy’s wife (the
delightful Traylor Howard) somehow is oblivious to the fact that she’s hitched
her wagon to the personification of arrested development and actually wants to
procreate with him. One day, the family dog brings home a creepy old mask,
which just so happens to have been forged by Loki, the Norse god of mischief. Jamie
Kennedy wears it to a party, becomes possessed by the spirit of the mask, bangs
his wife, gets her pregnant and poof there’s a baby. Pretty soon Kennedy gets
left to watch the baby on his own and he starts to notice that the kid has
special powers. So he has to deal with that while also working on a big cartoon
pitch for his boss and fending off Loki who just wants his mask back, but no
one will give it to him for some reason. Oh yeah, and at a certain point, the
family dog decides to literally go to war with the baby over Kennedy’s love and
affection. So that’s a thing that happens.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<u><b>Thoughts</b></u>: OK, so full disclosure
here: I’ve never actually sat down and watched the original “The Mask” with Jim
Carey. I’ve seen bits and pieces here and there, and I vaguely remember something
about a cartoon TV show that I may have spent some time with, but the first
movie, nope. Flew under my radar. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I did, however, see “Mask” starring
Eric Stoltz as a deformed teen at least twice during my childhood and was
pretty well traumatized by that, if that counts for anything. That probably explains
a lot actually. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
So maybe I’m missing out on
something here. I don’t know, but “Son of the Mask” seems really, really dumb.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMws32zFL-bKzuu0dhNp5pdMi6obKc92qFOZi8vKD1sIgH244G8kPknE1HXNJ1oWkr6tiHpHJq2v1EwRWrsrLwlZgEdJmzCg8DD3kOoXCIQyZHPKZ7kLXLqKzDcVBnTIb94XkuzB4CHQJT/s1600/Slide1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMws32zFL-bKzuu0dhNp5pdMi6obKc92qFOZi8vKD1sIgH244G8kPknE1HXNJ1oWkr6tiHpHJq2v1EwRWrsrLwlZgEdJmzCg8DD3kOoXCIQyZHPKZ7kLXLqKzDcVBnTIb94XkuzB4CHQJT/s400/Slide1.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bad acting, nonsense script, accidentally a major downer. Yeah I'll be happy to avoid it again. Miss you Stoltz!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
</div>
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I’m not sure who the audience is
for this kind of movie. I’d say it’s meant for kids because the humor is ripped
straight from the pages of every “Looney Toons” script ever. But it’s also kind
of dark, considering Kennedy essentially spends the entire second act and most
of the third one as a complete raving lunatic, gradually succumbing to the
pressures of work and family. I mean, there’s enough cartoon explosions to keep
the kids happy, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to spend so much time in your
kid’s movie telling kids just how much they ruin everything. Seems like a mixed
message. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I guess if you’ve ever watched “Looney
Toons” and thought: “This is great, but I wish there were less animals and more
people in this,” then “Son of the Mask” is very much for you. You one guy, you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I’ve never really been on board
with Jamie Kennedy’s brand of humor. I mean, I guess this is his cartoon phase,
and it’s way better than his nerdy-white rapper phase, but it’s still not all
that funny. Even still, he finds time for a quick rap/R&B number anyway, because
it’s what he does.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Also, I just got really weirded
watching him turn into a psychotic person. Like I said, it’s super
uncomfortable and it seems really out of place in a movie I can only assume is
meant for kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I spent
a lot of my time wondering why this was happening and by this I meant the
entire narrative of the movie. Loki’s father is the all-powerful god Odin, yet
said all-powerful god refuses to help Loki find the mask. Why? Because, that’s
why. Also, Jamie Kennedy doesn’t seem to really want the mask or care about it
at all, so why not just give it back to Loki?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For a
lot of the middle of the movie, the baby is portrayed as the main villain,
driving Kennedy totally nuts just for the heck of it. Yet, instead of asking
Loki for help, Kennedy runs from him! Why? Until the very, very end, Loki doesn’t
do anything to make himself seem like a bad guy. In fact, for most of the
movie, he seems OK, he just wants his mask back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Alan
Cumming, who plays Loki, is wasted here, though he and Odin do slightly
resemble their more popular counterparts in “The Avengers,” costume-wise. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So that was fun.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> <u><b> </b></u></span><u><b>Worst
of the Worst</b></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
an elaborate sequence in the middle of the movie where the family dog, who’s
wearing Loki’s mask, sets up a massive trap for the baby. We’re talking Mouse
Trap style nonsense here. Oh, the baby’s CGI, by the way. If you’re the one
person who still thinks CGI babies are funny, then here’s your “Schindler’s
List,” I guess. Anyway, so the CGI baby tricks the dog into its own trap. It’s
just a total knock-off of every Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd skit ever. Funnier
with cartoons. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I can’t in good faith recommend any
actually watches this movie. I didn’t laugh, I was kind of depressed <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and creeped out by the middle part of it, and
the rest is just boring.</div>
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Bumblebee tuna.</div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-12699963121137269202013-02-14T17:54:00.004-08:002013-02-14T17:56:29.140-08:00News: 'Fast 6' trailer hits the webs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGN6Ba6Q9QLoott8mQyErfpKA3SCuZeZ-Z5oNDROUOOF07lqPBZlPs8rh9LlOM23Wdgo4Ywp2DDXvWJYDCWTkf8oGMNM3Wa4zDbqtHi5feSqGHt6RqE6oRnUxqBsm1E5XWZNdqMhbIuv_D/s1600/rock+lobster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGN6Ba6Q9QLoott8mQyErfpKA3SCuZeZ-Z5oNDROUOOF07lqPBZlPs8rh9LlOM23Wdgo4Ywp2DDXvWJYDCWTkf8oGMNM3Wa4zDbqtHi5feSqGHt6RqE6oRnUxqBsm1E5XWZNdqMhbIuv_D/s1600/rock+lobster.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">grizzlybomb.com</td></tr>
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So there was a time when the “Fast and the Furious” movies didn’t
exist in my world. Like skydiving or staying up past 11, they were a thing other,
riskier people did that I couldn’t even dream of. </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I like
to call those: “the ‘Fast and the Furious’ franchise before ‘Fast Five.’”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But, now?
There’s no going back. “Fast Five” changed things … forever.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That
movie had a hefty bag full of problems (mostly any scenes without The Rock) and
was way too long, but I still enjoyed it. And now this happens. A new trailer
for the next chapter, the aptly titled “Fast and Furious 6” winds up online
today.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://3.gvt0.com/vi/z7zl_t48CMc/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/z7zl_t48CMc&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/z7zl_t48CMc&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh my
god that looks so bad ass. Yeah, I’m not even thinking about The Cheese List
anymore when it comes to this franchise. I’m looking forward to this based solely
on its merits as a movie that exists.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I even
have a mild interest in finally seeing the earlier, non-Rock chapters, (not
even positive I ever watched part one) just so I finally hammer down all the
other characters’ names. Seems like those are things I should know going into
part six. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you’re
a spoiler type, head on over to Joblo, where they’ve got<a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/will-the-fast-and-furious-6-ending-reveal-a-super-villain-for-the-seventh-movie"> a pretty huge one</a>
concerning the future of this franchise. I read it. Usually I avoid this stuff,
but the story of this franchise doesn’t mean much to me. How could it if I haven’t
even seen the earlier parts? Just want to see The Rock kick some ass. Anyway,
it’s a pretty awesome idea if it’s true.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, “Fast
and Furious 6” starring The Rock and other people is in theaters May 24, of
this year. Right after my birthday. It’s like we were meant to be together. Me
and the movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna.</div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-55903734588602982452013-02-13T17:06:00.000-08:002013-02-13T17:06:06.752-08:00News: When bad movies happen to good actors and such<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQTh5h5qg7RXmhYX_xszly6NWwW8OVcfjPqGZZwJo1pgRfHczv_hwqCE22lr98ALpH-LGVXT-W76Y5_kicDXQ-Zpmn-KqWOQvDtwXvoqbHXoJsluhANC9cGJvJzev1VpgRo_785jxZURG/s1600/beautiful+creatures.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQTh5h5qg7RXmhYX_xszly6NWwW8OVcfjPqGZZwJo1pgRfHczv_hwqCE22lr98ALpH-LGVXT-W76Y5_kicDXQ-Zpmn-KqWOQvDtwXvoqbHXoJsluhANC9cGJvJzev1VpgRo_785jxZURG/s1600/beautiful+creatures.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never thought I’d say this, but that “Beautiful Creatures”
movie about the lovey-dovey teenage witches actually inspired something
interesting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I mean,
it only has a passing connection to the movie, but hey, take what you can get.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>KLS.com’s
John Clyde was writing about how awful “Beautiful Creatures” looks and how it’s
getting mostly negative reviews. Nothing groundbreaking, but he happened to
notice how awesome its supporting cast is, featuring talent such as Jeremy
Irons, Emma Thompson and Viola Davis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That
bought up the interesting part: a list of good actors in horrible movies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Clyde’s
list includes: George Clooney in “Batman and Robin,” Christophe Waltz in “The
Green Hornet” and Al Pacino in “Jack and Jill,” though honestly Pacino’s resume
lately is far from sparkling these days.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Check
out the rest of Clyde’s list here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My own
ideas? Hmm… Johnny Depp in “Private Resort,” and more recently “The Libertine.”
Dustin Hoffman in “Little Fockers,” Ben Kingsley in “BloodyRayne.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s an
interesting topic and certainly one worth discussing, especially considering
bad movie news has sorta dried up lately. So feel free, talk amongst
yourselves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>: <a href="http://dailyfill.com/24-examples-of-good-actors-doing-bad-movies-31636">KLS.com<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-49828704287834513622013-02-12T17:15:00.002-08:002013-02-12T17:15:35.349-08:00News: Date with 'Birdemic' is set<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxqBBu-z2EPScM3qZQvHdR_8D-8Y6dHq1I3MN3tVE3HOG1nJul_GZfOGD3Mk5ZqE6F_H6xPLhJYwi5YsLO7YytEZHUvQdLmWGgL_Z_2x4n_gMHFTa9FmHz9sVpJnUig0MynOiXv095WrvK/s1600/birdemic+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxqBBu-z2EPScM3qZQvHdR_8D-8Y6dHq1I3MN3tVE3HOG1nJul_GZfOGD3Mk5ZqE6F_H6xPLhJYwi5YsLO7YytEZHUvQdLmWGgL_Z_2x4n_gMHFTa9FmHz9sVpJnUig0MynOiXv095WrvK/s1600/birdemic+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, if there was ever a place to announce the release date
for your movie about birds, Twitter would be that place. The logo’s a bird,
after all. A match made in heaven.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
this isn’t just any movie about birds. It’s the sequel to THE movie about
birds. No, not “The Birds.” I'm talking about “Birdemic,” the hilariously horrible movie about badly computer-animated birds attacking bad
actors. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Somehow
that film’s creator, James Nguyen, has convinced people to give him enough
money to make a sequel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yesterday,
Alan Bagh, star of the original and the sequel, tweeted word of the release
date out to the world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Residents
of Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, Paris and London, prepare yourselves. “Birdemic
II: The Resurrection” is coming to your town this June. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Exciting
news for yours truly, as that means I’ll be able to see this thing on the big
screen, where I’ll be able to really appreciate the craptitude.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/cpDbfUaDlx0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Craptitude
indeed. Bumblebee tuna. </div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-45159968954737005132013-02-11T16:13:00.000-08:002013-02-11T16:13:02.248-08:00Cheese List Preview<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This week’s Cheese List entry is part of a blockbuster
cinematic franchise. In it, a group of seemingly average people run afoul of an
ancient Norse god. A god who delights in raining mischief down on all those
around him. A god called … Loki.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s
right! In a shocking twist worthy of Attitude-era WWF, this week’s Cheese List
feature is this summer’s hit superhero epic “The Avengers!” What? The world is
off its axis! Up is down, left is right, pigeons are eagles! Chaos reigns supre
… </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/eOrNdBpGMv8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oh
wait. Scratch that. This week’s movie does feature Loki, but it’s not “The Avengers.”
It’s “Son of the Mask” starring Jamie Kennedy and Alan Cumming.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Whoops.
Well, at least all is right in the world. We can all sleep this evening,
pigeons can resume their usual assignments. Bullet dodged.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/koGT7W2p5Bk?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Credentials</b></u>:
2.1 out of 10 (Imdb.com) // 6%, Certified Rotten (Rottentomatoes.com) // 20 out
of 100 (Metacritic.com) // Nominated for eight Razzies at the 2006 Golden
Raspberry Awards (Worst Picture, Worst Screenplay, Worst Actor- Jamie Kennedy,
Worst On-screen Couple- Jamie Kennedy and anyone else in the movie, Worst
Supporting Actor- Alan Cumming, Worst Supporting Actor- Bob Hoskins, Worst
Remake or Sequel. Won for Worst Remake or Sequel.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now let’s
hear what our friends the critics had to say:</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Garth
Franklin, from <i>Dark Horizons</i>, said: “Sequels without their original stars are
usually sent direct to video. Some deserve better, [but] this isn't one of
those.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sequels
without their original stars are usually sent direct to video. Some deserve
better, [but] this isn't one of those,” lamented David Germain, from the <i>Desert
News, Salt Lake City</i>.</div>
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>On the positive side of things, Ed Gonzalez
from <i>Slant Magazine</i> pointed out: “You mean, that's the same place they shot the
police station in Blade Runner? Well, guess I'm buying this DVD post haste. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And then there was this. Andrea
Gronvall, from <i>Chicago Reader</i> said this, um thing: “Whatever possessed director
Lawrence Guterman and writer Lance Khazei to transform the sequel to 1994's
libidinous hit comedy into pabulum?” Uhhhhh … yeah? Take that or something. I
use those words all the time too. Totally. In fact, I just called this guy a
pabulum today cuz he was ticking me off. Blew his mind.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna.</div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-64417946647581953462013-02-08T16:50:00.000-08:002013-02-20T17:04:42.186-08:00Review: House of Wax (2005)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx_NHY6VwgKEce7JCCUSXDELl9QMpo2xZo2DvjZee3Fnx2M_MZk4XXHpNDW9VYN8cXk_qG6Tv72BIRoRzatvhZDXULYZ_PYdndPbcGAncCmyK8Ps4LkOS8Igvlc-rcspXDsxlNo8PZSmA4/s1600/house-of-wax-movie-poster-2005-1020253778.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx_NHY6VwgKEce7JCCUSXDELl9QMpo2xZo2DvjZee3Fnx2M_MZk4XXHpNDW9VYN8cXk_qG6Tv72BIRoRzatvhZDXULYZ_PYdndPbcGAncCmyK8Ps4LkOS8Igvlc-rcspXDsxlNo8PZSmA4/s320/house-of-wax-movie-poster-2005-1020253778.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s always dangerous to go back and watch a movie you
enjoyed when you were younger. You always run the risk of realizing just how
dumb you were as a youth. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But
danger’s my middle name and so I threw caution to the wind and all sorts of
other clichés when I sat down and rewatched “House of Wax” for the first time
in a few years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Granted,
the movie is only eight years old, so it’s hardly a lifetime ago that I last
saw this thing, but still, I’m a relatively young man and eight years is a
pretty decent-sized gap.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well,
folks, I’m happy to say that for the most part, I still enjoyed “House of Wax.”
It’s a mostly inoffensive, hokey, but fun horror movie. The acting is kind of
meh at times, but the writing is mostly solid and it’s got some cool --- at
least by 2005 standards --- effects thrown in for good measure. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the
movie, a group of friends are making their way to some sort of big football game
that only one of them, Blake (Robert Ri’chard) is really excited to see. And
boy is he excited. Super, needlessly excited.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
rest of the group, not so much. Wade (Jared Padalecki) is a country boy only there
so he can spend some quality time with his gal Carly (Elisha Cuthbert) before
she heads to the big city for an internship. Paige (Paris Hilton) is there for
the sole purpose of having lots and lots of sex with Blake. Nick (Chad Michael
Murray) wanted a change of pace from his usual routine of brooding and
pretending to be a badass at home. And finally, Dalton (Jon Abrahams) is there
because every group needs a goofy friend for the others to rag on.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1_3LaZDf-zLOczKeUWDikskhGFkPvm3jxA7DBiF9_u4VdHdLAYWt3yHSfdTy7KLMRXU3q3NRk14H1Kbl-H1AbtsEyvsWl5fpk3YvXnWnfuqwhCTyrySnDcLUslZvt0PQeMJhEwiitMu9k/s1600/house+wax+rc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1_3LaZDf-zLOczKeUWDikskhGFkPvm3jxA7DBiF9_u4VdHdLAYWt3yHSfdTy7KLMRXU3q3NRk14H1Kbl-H1AbtsEyvsWl5fpk3YvXnWnfuqwhCTyrySnDcLUslZvt0PQeMJhEwiitMu9k/s400/house+wax+rc.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Acting is mostly fair, characters make too many bad choices, and it's WAY too long, but I'll gladly watch it again in a year or two</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Of
course, things don’t go smoothly for our crew and soon they end up in a
seemingly abandoned town with a really snazzy wax museum which is just full of
amazingly lifelike sculptures. Unfortunately for most of them, they also get to
meet the museum’s psychotic <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>curator and
learn the horrifying secret of what makes the sculptures look so real!!! Dun
dun dun!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I saw
horrifying, but not really. “House of Wax” is too paint-by-numbers horror to
really be scary. There’s some good gore here and there, but it’s pretty obvious
who’s going to live and die, there’s not a ton of tension of suspense at all.
It’s not bad, just predictable. If you’ve never seen a slasher before though,
this will definitely scare the pants off of you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ve
said it before: Paris Hilton is not an actor. She wasn’t a musician either. She
was just a celebrity trying to justify her fame. She’s pretty clunky here. She
doesn’t really manage to convey any sort of emotion and her character is just
window dressing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
rest of the cast has their moments. I love Padalecki so very, very much. He too
isn’t given a whole lot to do though, which is sad. Chad Michael Murray is nice,
but he’s more of a whiny kid than a true bad ass. Again, he’s got his moments.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
biggest problem with “House of Wax” is that, at just under two hours, it is way
too long to the point where it gets hard to watch at times. There’s no reason
this movie should be a second over 90 minutes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
way too much time spent driving in cars, drinking in the woods, prattling on endlessly
about who might be pregnant with who’s baby. Get rid of it. We don’t need it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
movie’s most memorable scene is --- spoiler alert --- Paris’ death scene. The
girl takes a giant metal pole right to the head and then the killer whips out a
camera and films the aftermath, a not-so-subtle nod to a certain sex tape
perhaps?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There’s
some good stuff here and I certainly don’t hate “House of Wax.” I’ll watch it
again in a few years. Don’t want to push my luck.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
You can definitely have some fun
watching this in a group and laughing at the characters and all their mindless
decisions. There’s enough “We should split up and cover more ground” in this to
fill eight “Friday the 13<sup>th</sup>” movies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
The good this is, other than the
runtime, “House of Wax” doesn’t try to do too much or take itself too
seriously. It’s a mindless, somewhat disposable slasher you can have some fun
with and then resume your life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Just that runtime. Ugh.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Worst of the Worst</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
So Paris’ character may or may not
be preggers with Blake’s baby. He doesn’t know this, of course. She wanted to
wait to tell him until after the big game that he’s been going on about for at
least the entire movie and probably months before then.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Eventually, she just decides “Ah
fork it, I’ll tell him now.” So she tries to tell him, right after performing a
highly seductive striptease and right before they have sex. She’s mostly naked
and she picked that moment to try to share potentially life-altering news with
the man.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
After a striptease! That’s just
cruel. Logically, the scene doesn’t make any sense, but it also just feels like
more filler in a movie that is already way too bloated anyway. Take the shears
to it!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
So there you go, “House of Wax.”
Bullet dodged and bumblebee tuna. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-46566619674730509642013-02-07T15:58:00.002-08:002013-02-07T15:58:21.403-08:00News: 'Godzilla' goes classy?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCmhWOVEJPRFyscvyWWOxcRGVPspJsw5fUZvYzeKkK_eGZuzsJdTOVatFUseVE4eLx5XDsfooucPdDEagWATWQD7eXENvsCmKG7E_onFbbz_MDf6xsjHP7yerBmPM62ZrNAHo65qgAopCR/s1600/godzilla-suit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCmhWOVEJPRFyscvyWWOxcRGVPspJsw5fUZvYzeKkK_eGZuzsJdTOVatFUseVE4eLx5XDsfooucPdDEagWATWQD7eXENvsCmKG7E_onFbbz_MDf6xsjHP7yerBmPM62ZrNAHo65qgAopCR/s320/godzilla-suit.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="irc_iis" id="irc_hd"><span id="irc_ho">drewminh.net</span><span id="irc_dim"> </span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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Excuse me while I do my best “dopey NFL analyst” impression:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“When you’re talking about cheesy movies, you’re
talking about ‘Godzilla!’”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sure
that’s a hacky way of putting it, but it’s also hard to argue with I mean, bad
dubbing, guys in monster suits stepping on model buildings, it’s all pretty
cheesy. Even the original, as smart as it is, is totally guilty.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But then
along comes all this talk about a remake. A remake written by Frank Darabont,
the guy who helped bring “The Walking Dead” to the small screen and who also
made a little thing called “The Shawshank Redemption.” That’s what we in the
business call a heavy hitter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And now
there’s this tidbit: Bryan Cranston, star of TV’s “Breaking Bad” and Elizabeth
Olsen, or as you may know her, “The Good Olsen,” are currently in talks to star
in this thing.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Nothings
official yet, but holy hell! The “Godzilla” remake is shaping up to be pretty f’n
awesome. I’m not sure how to handle all this. My head’s spinning. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I mean
the studio’s got to hire Michael Bay to direct this thing, right? Just to
balance it all out. There’s simply way too much class.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hell,
at least put a guy in a rubber monster suit for old time’s sake, what do you
say?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
all, if you can’t count on “Godzilla” to be cheesy, then my god, what can you
count on? We’ll see how this whole thing plays out. The remake hits theaters May
16, 2014, just in time for yours truly’s birthday, by the by.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b><u>Info</u></b>:
<a href="http://www.joblo.com/horror-movies/news/bryan-cranston-and-elizabeth-olsen-in-talks-to-fight-godzilla">Arrow in the Head</a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-35723151758992340952013-02-06T17:34:00.000-08:002013-02-06T17:34:42.304-08:00News: 'Big Ass' trailer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCxcxMPOhOji1IFPJDvXBS_WYNYhCv2u9h9jnUMsryp3al_0dniWUGxZraDhAgT-l0dqSrVIMxPvLynUhEzjzI0paHIWeNKzwJ4jP3F8Kbb1Rl_exNeB2LLRvQcY08FtfzY8AE-RSF4FvD/s1600/big+ass+spider.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCxcxMPOhOji1IFPJDvXBS_WYNYhCv2u9h9jnUMsryp3al_0dniWUGxZraDhAgT-l0dqSrVIMxPvLynUhEzjzI0paHIWeNKzwJ4jP3F8Kbb1Rl_exNeB2LLRvQcY08FtfzY8AE-RSF4FvD/s1600/big+ass+spider.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">hitfix.com</td></tr>
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Sometimes all it takes to convince me to see a movie is the
title. “Snakes on a Plane,” Piranha 3DD,” for example.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sometimes
I get burned and the movie turns out to be less awesome than I expected (“Piranha
3DD”), but whatever I’m a sucker for a good title. I make no apologies about
that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>With
that said you can only imagine how excited I get when I hear a title like “Big
Ass Spider!” Yup, the exclamation mark is an actual part of the title.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here’s
the trailer.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TSlNiSEWqwQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
effects look horrible, the acting seems clunky, but my god does this look like
absolute Cheese List fodder or what?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In case
you couldn’t tell, the movie is about a giant alien spider that escapes from a
military installation and goes on a rampage in downtown LA. Naturally, the army
isn’t enough to rein the beast in, so a team of scientists and an exterminator
are called in to finish the job and save the city. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m so
game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Big
Ass Spider!” hits the South by Southwest film festival on March 8.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.joblo.com/horror-movies/news/big-ass-spider-has-a-brand-new-and-cheesy-trailer">Arrow in the Head</a> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-87457144893452155742013-02-05T16:26:00.002-08:002013-02-05T16:26:33.996-08:00News: 'Anchorman 2' casting news<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyutJAQCZ5hicvIqEN9vQZoPO1_FsGCfFINn3gIiyhzVZGQUFJRH8k9M20XJhQx2g_XQ1wSOLydb67hDFF8tI-bKYJTNbMPRLp8Z9C4qBeXnds15u11AQfu3UCXo2WMIkxF5aNt-2-vIK/s1600/phoenix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyutJAQCZ5hicvIqEN9vQZoPO1_FsGCfFINn3gIiyhzVZGQUFJRH8k9M20XJhQx2g_XQ1wSOLydb67hDFF8tI-bKYJTNbMPRLp8Z9C4qBeXnds15u11AQfu3UCXo2WMIkxF5aNt-2-vIK/s320/phoenix.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">yahoo.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s ironic that this news would break on the same day that
photos surfaced of Joaquin Phoenix once again looking like a homeless person.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If you’ll
remember, the last time Phoenix looked like a crazy person, he gave birth to
the “Joaquin Phoenix sigh,” which is basically a mix of frustration and the
sound of your soul trying to escape your body.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Anyway,
I let out a heavy Joaquin Phoenix sigh when I first heard rumblings of this
news a few months back. And now here we are. It’s official. Kristen Wiig is
going to be in “Anchorman: The Legend Continues.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
film’s director, Adam McKay confirmed it. There’s no going back. We’re stuck
with her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No word
yet on what sort of character Wiig will play. Rumor-mongers seem to think she
may play a lady friend for Steve Carell’s lovable dimwit Brick Tamland.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ugh.
Well, they say nothing’s perfect. And now “Anchorman 2” is no longer perfect. I
just don’t understand the appeal of this woman. I just … sigh … I just don’t.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://2.gvt0.com/vi/RRb_3hCa72Y/0.jpg"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RRb_3hCa72Y&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RRb_3hCa72Y&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u><b>Info</b></u>:
<a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1701358/kristen-wiig-anchorman-sequel.jhtml">MTV<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-10670943088894547892013-02-04T13:43:00.004-08:002013-02-04T13:43:59.537-08:00Cheese List preview<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3GXi1XEVoSubWsRubjEMxOIclfKbn5SrdzPvnEnb2APQrQhpTaVDzrw3Wv0Yg6jF5z8DEsQIjkhHVfrglDNYqc4uZ03oOe7_NY07Ety1TUIQv_0-rvOJqOscOtrrU2VOAstOzGuf3ZLB/s1600/puppy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn3GXi1XEVoSubWsRubjEMxOIclfKbn5SrdzPvnEnb2APQrQhpTaVDzrw3Wv0Yg6jF5z8DEsQIjkhHVfrglDNYqc4uZ03oOe7_NY07Ety1TUIQv_0-rvOJqOscOtrrU2VOAstOzGuf3ZLB/s1600/puppy.jpeg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photos.denverpost.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how about that Puppy Bowl this weekend? God it was so
adorable, I just can’t even process it all right now. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I have to say though, it saddens me
how corporate the whole even has gotten --- what with the Icebreakers-sponsored
stoppages in play and Animal Planet trying to force-feed the rest of their
shows down America’s throats. It used to just be about the puppies, man. Well,
the puppies, the kitties and whatever other small, cuddly creatures that
happened to be laying around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Yeah, but it was still awesome and
way more interesting than the Super Bowl until god intervened and struck the
stadium with a lightning bolt or whatever happened. <span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I decided to honor of this weekend’s
other big game, the one that didn’t feature cuddly critters, by picking a movie
with lots and lots of football action.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Well, that’s not exactly true.
There’s actually very little football action to be found in this movie. But
there is plenty of talk about going to watch a big football game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In it, a group of friends are road-tripping
their way across country to watch their college team toss the old pigskin
around with another college team.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Unfortunately, on route they run
into some car problems right smack in the middle of nowhere. The only town within
miles seems mostly abandoned, expect for a hearty few individuals, but the kids
are really into this college football thing for some reason, so they head there
to hopefully get the parts they need to fix their car and get back on the road.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
It just so happens this town also has
a museum. A special kind of museum with lots of figures in it, figures that
look really real, but aren’t … and are made from … wax.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In fact, the museum actually kind
of looks like somebody’s house, so I guess you could call it a:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/-DnFKwVcM10?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Yes! “House of Wax (2005)” starring
Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padaleck, Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<u><b>Credentials</b></u>: 25%, Certified Rotten
(Rottentomatoes.com) // 5.2 out of 10 (Imdb.com) //41 out of 100 (Metacritic.com)
// Nominated for three Razzies at the 2006 Golden Raspberry Awards, (Worst
Picture, Worst Remake or Sequel and Worst Supporting Actress --- Paris Hilton),
Paris won the Worst Supporting Actress award // Hilton was also won the Razzie
for Worst Actress of the Decade at the 2010 Golden Raspberry Awards for her
work on this film among others</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
As I said a few weeks ago, you
could call this a guilty pleasure of mine, but that wouldn’t be accurate
because I feel no guilt whatsoever about loving this movie. Now, I haven’t seen
it in a few years, so let’s see how it holds up to the memory I have of it in
my mind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Yeah, I know. More horror. I’m kind
of a one-trick pony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Let’s take a gander at what the
critics had to say about “House of Wax”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Mike Clark from <i>USA Today</i> said: “When
the cast starts wondering where the roadkill is, someone says, 'Follow the
smell.' Good tip: That's how you'll know where ‘Wax’ is playing.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“A stupid, brainless, and pointless
horror installment with all the usual characters, and pretty bad acting all
around ... ” said Felix Vasquez Jr. from <i>Cinema Crazed</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Things weren’t all bad though, Desson
Thomson from <i>The Washington Post</i> raved “You’ll be rooting for these people to
get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
There you go: “House of Wax (2005).”
Look for my review on Friday and if you want to track it down and watch it, go
right ahead. You just might enjoy yourself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Bumblebee tuna.</div>
<div class="yj6qo ajU">
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Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-82814151928892781982013-02-01T19:36:00.002-08:002013-02-01T19:36:55.082-08:00Review: Cursed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmjJu4U1dF9yT1Al1yaLAjQ_Z7ovhmfhhSP6z3Wjg9GXBfqQReQiExquy7nOIkvDXkkcb1O9GwZvPfNP-tPnXps6siezEdUS2bcYrwJen5CsW0QHc8x5Jk-Q-lM6Dl696opE9lbLc69vR/s1600/cursed+poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmjJu4U1dF9yT1Al1yaLAjQ_Z7ovhmfhhSP6z3Wjg9GXBfqQReQiExquy7nOIkvDXkkcb1O9GwZvPfNP-tPnXps6siezEdUS2bcYrwJen5CsW0QHc8x5Jk-Q-lM6Dl696opE9lbLc69vR/s1600/cursed+poster.jpg" /></a></div>
<span> </span>So, “Cursed.”
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>You
know, the tendency when you have success with something is to push it as far as
you possibly can. Perhaps horror director guy Wes Craven and his screenwriter
pal Kevin Williamson should have just quit after “Scream.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>After
all, it’s sort of hard to top defining an entire genre of movies --- for better
or worse --- for an entire decade.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>But
they didn’t quit. The duo churned out two sequels to “Scream,” where a killer in a
mask stalks sexy youths, then a werewolf movie, where a werewolf stalks sexy youths
and then they went ahead and made another “Scream” just for good measure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>And “Cursed”
is a weird movie. Williamson and Craven clearly seem to be going for the same
sort of wink-wink, nod-nod humor that worked so well for most of the first “Scream”
movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Only,
instead of slasher conventions, this time their focus is on Hollywood culture.
Which I guess is pretty funny to two guys who work in Hollywood, but not so
much for the rest of us.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEm1FbhjUSnLvNsEWjDGFyIDugAWXmxkSblxcVzBpaoIFXBtMuuhk9mSocY9eOVZWrKZl2Zrl3Ge-OaFAL7SWRutnOTifEv09-zRTyygozpn2RjItpg5B4-gHghReBsOe9SSFaRpp1JxVZ/s1600/cursed+rc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEm1FbhjUSnLvNsEWjDGFyIDugAWXmxkSblxcVzBpaoIFXBtMuuhk9mSocY9eOVZWrKZl2Zrl3Ge-OaFAL7SWRutnOTifEv09-zRTyygozpn2RjItpg5B4-gHghReBsOe9SSFaRpp1JxVZ/s400/cursed+rc.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clunky acting, bad script, lame visuals make for a movie I'd like to steer clear of watching again.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>I’m
going to go ahead and spoil a lot of this movie, so if you haven’t seen it run!
And don’t stop running until you find a place on the internet that talks about
new movies.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Christina
Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg play a brother and sister, still sort of grappling (but
not too much) with the deaths of their parents. Ricci is a producer or
something on “The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn,” while Eisenberg plays a
nerd. Shocking.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>One
night, while driving back from the city, the pair get in a car accident after a
massive wolf hits their car. They careen into another car, driven by Shannon
Elizabeth, who’s sporting some very unfortunate bangs. Long story short, the
wolf eats Shannon and bites Eisenberg and Ricci, cursing them to become
werewolves. Unless they can find a way to break said curse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Oh
yeah, there’s also a few useless subplots thrown in the mix for luck, I guess: Joshua Jackson trys to open up
the least night-clubiest night club in the history of night clubs (lots of wax
sculptures, no bar?), a high school bully who turns out to be gay for some
reason, etc., etc. <span> </span><span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Any
way, the sort of main werewolf here is a crazy, back-stabbing publicist. With
the right kind of ears, you can almost hear Williamson saying “Geez,
publicists, amirite?” and then high-fiving Craven off screen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Towards
the end of the movie, after her treachery has been revealed, the publicist
narrowly escapes being shot to death by an entire squad of cops. Now, Christina Ricci’s
character won’t stand for that. For one, she never liked the publicist to begin
with, (because publicists, amirite?) but also because Ricci thinks she needs
the publicist dead to break her werewolf curse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>She lures
the publicist --- who’s now completely in werewolf form, by the way --- back by
talking about how she has bad skin and a fat ass. Being a super-vain resident
of LA, the wolf-publicist can’t stand for this and comes back to flip off
Ricci, only to be promptly gunned down by the army of waiting police officers. <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>I didn’t
get the movie’s humor and I’m not totally sure Williamson knew what to do with
it either. He has characters deliver all sorts of painfully flat lines like:</div>
<ul>
<li><span>"</span>That's enough with the biting!"</li>
<li>Ricci: "All the good things in my life keep going away," to which Josh Jackson replied in a manly fashion: "I'm not going anywhere."</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>And the
thing is, he’s got a pretty talented cast. He just ends up making them all look pretty bad. Well, that’s not entirely true. Eisenberg makes himself look pretty
awful with his half-assed scream during the carwreck scene and Milo Ventimiglia
is the least convincing high school bully of all time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> </span>Eventually,
we get the usual twists, turns and monologues during the climax that we’ve all
come to expect from Williamson and Craven. Turns out the publicist wasn’t the
main, main werewolf, but that’s only a surprise to the characters. The movie
telegraphs pretty clearly who the real one is going to be, and even if it didn’t
there are only so many characters it could be anyway. Personally, I was pulling
for Kilborn, but alas, no.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span> Once revealed,t</span>he
real big wolf on campus predictably spends the finale sorta trying to kill
Ricci and Eisenberg and sorta just trying to talk their ears off. I have no
idea why our filmmakers are so fond of this plot device, but they must be head-over-heels for it because they’ve used it five times now.</div>
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<span> </span>Mostly
though, “Cursed” was just pretty yawn-inducing. The plot wound its way down a familiar path, never doing anything even close to the fun and clever
stuff we got early on in “Scream.”</div>
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On top of that, I didn’t get the
humor, the performances were clunky and the writing made them look even worse. <span> </span><span> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<u><b>Worst of the worst</b></u></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
See: Christina Ricci tells werewolf
she has a fat ass. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
There it is kiddies, “Cursed.” <span></span>Don’t
blink or you might miss a mustache-less Ron Swanson early on as a helpful cop.
Definitely the highlight.</div>
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Bumblebee tuna. </div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-766931174318630828.post-72393164123832846632013-01-31T16:21:00.000-08:002013-02-01T06:15:29.272-08:00News: Spring of The Rock<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghABKkCuSgbAVbReIY_07LBYxJTVNCSbwzszYH8mhxmla6Gi6qy3ONlq6UuMlM_-izTVyaVS8rmldT6tO1iS5lxyz6jZJCGJW8jyxHtI3TfL1w7ATc_BLesvAc0VC3v_x2IqrPySQX81VF/s1600/legs+of+a+champion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghABKkCuSgbAVbReIY_07LBYxJTVNCSbwzszYH8mhxmla6Gi6qy3ONlq6UuMlM_-izTVyaVS8rmldT6tO1iS5lxyz6jZJCGJW8jyxHtI3TfL1w7ATc_BLesvAc0VC3v_x2IqrPySQX81VF/s1600/legs+of+a+champion.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="irc_iis" id="irc_hd"><span id="irc_ho">huffingtonpost.co.uk</span><span id="irc_dim"> </span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
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In honor of his momentous victory at Sunday’s Royal Rumble,
let’s talk a little Rock, shall we?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s
right, in case you missed it The Rock vanquished CM Punk with a People’s Elbow
to once again hold the WWE Title. All is right with the world. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So
Rocky’s riding high right now. And things just keep getting better. The
so-so-looking-but-who-cares-it’s-The-Rock “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” hits theaters
March 29. But the real money-maker comes about two months later on May 24 --- “Fast
and Furious 6,” or as I like to call it “The Sequel to Fast Five and Four Movies I Don’t Care About.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
today that movie got itself an official summary. Here’s what we can expect from
“F&F6” (or (TStFFaFMIDCA”):</div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Since
Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian’s (Paul Walker) Rio heist toppled a kingpin’s empire
and left their crew with $100 million, our heroes have scattered across the
globe. But their inability to return home and living forever on the lam have
left their lives incomplete. Meanwhile, Hobbs (The Rock) has been tracking an
organization of lethally skilled mercenary drivers across 12 countries, whose
mastermind is aided by a ruthless” --- and mysterious (spoiler deleted) ---“
second-in-command. The only way to stop the criminal outfit is to outmatch them
at street level, so Hobbs asks Dom to assemble his elite team in London.
Payment? Full pardons for all of them so they can return home and make their
families whole again.”</div>
</blockquote>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9DVHGjrdZhmpFFfDQqpyphfgqFLe1FMo4UDC4nND_v3roDe1nU04HBRYzQivdQ0SB1EMA9F7YyS9vrjWKrazqR7kiBcvv0qBUek-1zvd64vPGxgkkWol3R-1jtR1ADK6z8K9Z0l2N5M1F/s1600/rocky.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9DVHGjrdZhmpFFfDQqpyphfgqFLe1FMo4UDC4nND_v3roDe1nU04HBRYzQivdQ0SB1EMA9F7YyS9vrjWKrazqR7kiBcvv0qBUek-1zvd64vPGxgkkWol3R-1jtR1ADK6z8K9Z0l2N5M1F/s400/rocky.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">blacksportsonline.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s
going to be a good Spring with that much Rock on the big screen. You can also
check out Rock as he most likely defends his title against John Cena at
Wrestlemania. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Bumblebee
tuna.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Info</b></u>: <a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/check-out-the-peter-berg-directed-super-bowl-commercial-featuring-dwayne-johnson-plus-the-official-synopsis-for-fast-and-furious-6">Joblo</a></div>
Colin McGlincheyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08407804815840659454noreply@blogger.com0