Thursday, September 15, 2011

Zombies, zombies, Miley and Sarah Palin

                Cuban zombies making the trip to the mainland
                The Cuban-made zombie comedy “Juan of the Dead” has secured a U.S. / Canada distribution deal, because what the world needs now is more zombies. And vampires. Haven’t heard much about those cats lately either.
                Anywho, “Juan” doesn’t look too bad, sort of like a Spanish-language “Shaun of the Dead,” with its aging slacker takes on the undead with his buddies premise. Shaun’s left some big shoes to fill though so the potential downside here is enormous.
                Is “Juan” up to the task? Find out… eventually. No release date has been set, but there is a mildly amusing trailer if you’re so inclined.
  ‘Resident Evil 5’ cast gets even bigger
                I know what you’re thinking… they’re still making “Resident Evil” movies!??! I know. I had to look on, but I can confirm that “Resident Evil” 3 and 4 do indeed exist and a fifth entry is in the works.
                I’m not sure who keeps going to see these things, but whoever you are please stop. It’s 2011 for god sakes.
                Since it is in fact a movie, “Resident Evil: Retribution” needs actors (warm bodies) besides Milla Jovovich and via Twitter Boris Kodjoe has announced he will be reprising his role of Luther West. You just might remember Kodjoe from his work on J.J. Abram’s “Undercovers.” Or not, since it lasted about 1 ½ episodes. 
                In any case, the inexplicable "Resident Evil 5" stumbles into theaters September 14, 2012.
Miley goes ‘Undercover’ again 
                Having just spent the last five years of her life playing a character who lives a double life on “Hannah Montana,” you’d think Miley Cyrus would be sick of it… and you’d be wrong.
                In her upcoming movie, “So Undercover,” Miley joins the FBI and goes undercover at a sorority to protect a mobster’s daughter. Let’s hope her disguise this time is a little more convincing than a blonde wig.
                The movie... nay film… is already receiving glowing reviews… although they’re coming from “So Undercover” co-star Megan Park.
                Park gushed: “…it’s really funny. It’s really good.”
And if she knows what’s good for her she’ll keep it up, because you don’t want to get on Miley’s bad side. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.
Sarah Palin: ‘Nother day, ‘nother movie
The pro-Sarah Palin pseudo-doc “The Undefeated” stormed into theaters over the summer and was promptly rejected (defeated) by movie goers and critics alike. The movie garnered zero positive reviews according to, putting it right up there in “Bucky Larson” territory. It also grossed a mere $66,000 opening weekend and it only got worse from there.
So maybe an anti-Sara pseudo-doc, called “Sarah Palin: You Betcha,” will fare better with the America public. But probably not. Unless Tina Fey gets involved in this somehow. Then people will pay attention.
Here’s the first official (and massively boring) trailer for “You Betcha.” If you’ve got 2 minutes you’re not particularly attached to, it’s a good watch. However, if you value your time on this planet, I’d just skip it and use those two minutes to do something more productive. Like twiddle your thumbs. Or try to lick your own elbow.  


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