Well, I’m a little late on this, but what the hey? Bad news is bad news, even if it is a few days stale.
Last week, Dreamworks announced it had offered Jason Schwartzman the lead voice role in their next animation project.
What’s so bad about that? Dreamworks is no Pixar, but it does fine work. And the hipster kids seem to get a kick out of that scruffy scallywag Schwartzman. Again, I ask you, what’s not to like about this pairing?
The upcoming Dreamworks animated project in question is “Trolls.”
No, not those trolls.
These trolls. You know, the ones with the plastic jewel on their tummy’s and the tuft of brightly colored hair that people were oddly into about two decades ago?
Yeah, those things. Definitely time to tap into that goldmine.
Anyway, Schwartzman will be joining a cast that already includes the awesomely talented Chloe Grace Moretz, who’s already locked into the female voice lead for some godforsaken reason.
It seems lessons weren’t learned after the disaster that was “Battleship.” Hollywood continues to prattle along with the confused notion that people WANT toys and games from their past plastered across giant screens, and those same people are willing to pay upwards of $12 a ticket just for the privilege.
Please America, ignore Schwartzman’s hipster charms. Avoid “Trolls.” Don’t give Hollywood a reason to make a Mouse Trap movie. My soul couldn’t handle that kind of assault.