News: 'Twilight' has a big night at the Razzies

So it’s been two full days since the Oscars, which means most of Hollywood’s citizenry should finally be hangover free and be able to see colors and taste food again.

                Welcome back. To those who aren’t quite there yet, don’t worry. Just get back in bed. You’ll be there soon.

                However, in many circles, this news is far, far more important than any statue of a golden naked guy.

                The 33rdAnnual Golden Raspberry Awards were held this weekend, celebrating the worst that Hollywood has to offer.

                A few weeks back, I predicted the winners, or more accurately, losers, as one is supposed to do in these situations.

                I put on my prognosticating cap and decided the Razzies would give the “Twilight” franchise the “Lord of the Rings” treatment and send it off into the sunset riding high on a wave of spray-painted trophies.

                And it looks like I was correct. “Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II” took home a respectable seven awards, including Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Kristen Stewart), Worst Supporting Actor (Taylor Lautner), Worst Screen Couple (Lautner and 12 year-old Mackenzie Foy), Worst Screen Ensemble, Worst Remake/Rip-Off or Sequel and Worst Director (Bill Condon).

                Not too shabby.

                Now, I only predicted the top seven categories, but let’s see how I made out.

                I correctly predicted:

•  a win for Rihanna in the Worst Supporting Actress category for her work in “Battleship”
• Taylor Lautner and his abs would take the Worst Supporting Actor category for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
• Lautner and 12-year-old Mackenzie Foy would take home a trophy in the Worst Onscreen Couple category again for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
• Kristen Stewart would claim the Worst Actress crown for “Breaking Dawn Part II” and "Snow White and the Huntsman"
• Bill Condon would be named the year’s Worst Director for “Breaking Dawn Part II”
• and finally, “Breaking Dawn Part II” would win Worst Picture.

                Yup pretty awesome. The only blemish on my otherwise utterly spotless record? I thought Robert Pattinson would be named the Worst Actor of the year for “Breaking Dawn Part II.”

                Sadly, I underestimated the Golden Raspberry Foundation’s love affair with treating Adam Sandler like a punching bag. The formerly funny comedy bested the young heartthrob and took home the Worst Actor award for “That’s My Boy.”

                Six for seven. Now if only I could use my predictive talents for something useful and marketable, like the lottery or who’s going to win “Dancing with the Stars.” Then I’d be in business.

                Bumblebee tuna.  

News: Dinos are back and some Razzie hate

collider.com

Dinos back for another go-around

                You know what’s always, always, always a good idea? Pushing passed the trilogy mark and tacking a part four onto a successful franchise. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? Seriously? Name something?

As Brian Fantana once said, “60% of the time it works every time.” I’m not sure about his math, there but by god it sounds right to me.  

So with that in mind, I give you this news: “Jurassic Park 4” is happening people. It’s happening and it has a release date: June 13, 2014.

Sure there’s no script, cast, or anything of substance really, but it’s got a date.

Steven Spielberg --- you might know him as the guy who made the first two, or as I like to call them: the all-time classic and the marginally underrated sequel --- is onboard to produce and only produce.

Screenwriting duties are in the more than capable hands of Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, the duo behind the very good “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”

Things aren’t looking too bad, really. I mean other than that whole “the third one was a complete cluster f outside of the fight between the T-Rex and Spinosaur and the end was among the most insulting pieces of garbage committed to film in recent memory so why even bother with a part four?” thing.  

Other than that though, yeah, blue skies.

Info: Empire Online

goldderby.com

Not everyone likes the Razzies

                Not really news, but I love a good rant.

                Over on the site Movies About Gladiators, writer Dustin Freeley took umbrage with the Golden Raspberry Awards. Took umbrage hard.
                He mused: “does anyone really care about a group that selects the most clearly awful films that weren’t trying to be good anyway? There is nothing like staying as close to the tree trunk as possible by picking an Adam Sandler-produced movie (which they did) or an Eddie Murphy joint (also did).”
                Freeley than goes on to suggest some other films which he deemed more worthy of the Razzies’ attention, films that were “trying to be good” but, in his opinion, failed: “This is 40”, “Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning (???),” “The Watch”, among others.

                Some holes to be poked. For starters, I doubt anyone went into a movie called “Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning" expecting "The Godfather Part II."
                Also, I’m not sure where he got such a high opinion of Ben Stiller, but that guy has put out enough stinkers to at least give Sandler a run for his money. I’m not seeing much of a distinction.
                So his list is pretty suspect.
                My biggest concern though, is this whole idea that these movies the Razzies nominated weren’t trying to be good. Clearly Dustin has never heard Marlon Wayans call comedy a “science.” Hell, even Tommy Wiseau waxes poetic about his gloriously insane disaster “The Room.”
                I’m pretty sure most of these guys are think they’re making good movies. I’m sure Sandler’s not expecting an Oscar nod for his work in “That’s My Boy,” but he at least thinks he’s making a good movie for a certain audience. That audience being the millions of people who inexplicably like Adam Sandler movies.
                I do agree though, the Razzies would be well served to add a biggest disappointment/most deceptive trailer category. That way we can reward the biggest busts as well as the movies that truly were the worst.
                Because no matter how bad the “Jack and Jill” trailer looked, the reality was so much worse than anyone could have predicted.
                Info: Movies About Gladiators

And the losers are ... Razzie nomination spectacular!

Talk about timing. I’m back at this thing for three days and here comes the biggest news on the bad movie calendar. Well, second biggest, right behind anytime Uwe Boll rubs two nickels together and a movie appears.

                Ladies and gentlefellows, the nominations for the 33rd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, or Razzies as they’re known to those in the uh know, were announced today.

                The Razzies of course reward the worst Hollywood has to offer each and every year.

                This year, the Razzies went high tech and made their big announcement via a Youtube video. So if you’re not big on reading or prefer to surf the net with your eyes closed (dangerous) you can check that out.

The big winner, or loser depending on your perspective, was “Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II,” which scored 11 nods despite there only being 10 categories. It was nominated in every single category and twice in Worst Couple, the latter being a Razzie first.

Former funnyman Adam Sandler continued to be the Razzie version of Meryl Streep, as everything he touches turns to spray-painted gold. While he couldn’t quite match last year’s “Jack and Jill” debacle (it won everything, sweeping all 10 categories, also a Razzie first) with his latest, called “That’s My Boy,” the film still racked up an impressive 8 nominations.   

                As per tradition, let’s take a look at the races in some of the bigger categories, and I’ll offer my predictions on who’s going to take home a spray-painted trophy  (Predicted winners are in bold/underline).

battleship.wikia.com

                 Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel, Playing for Keeps and Total Recall

Brooklyn Decker, Battleship

Ashley Green, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Jennifer Lopez, What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Rihanna, Battleship

                

twilightsaga.wikia.com

Worst Supporting Actor

David Hasselhoff, Piranha 3-DD

Taylor Lautner, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Liam Neeson, Battleship and Wrath of the Titans

Nick Swardson, That’s My Boy

Vanilla Ice, That’s My Boy

twicsy.com

            

 Worst Screen Couple

Any combination of two “Jersey Shore” cast members, Three Stooges

Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Taylor Perry and his drag get-up, Madea’s Witless Protection

Adam Sandler and either Leighton Meester or Andy Samberg, That’s My Boy

               

people.com

  Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage, Ghost Rider 2: The Spirit of Vengeance and Seeking Justice

Eddie Murphy, A Thousand Words

Robert Pattinson, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Tyler Perry (not in drag), Alex Cross and Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds

Adam Sandler, That’s My Boy

fashionscansremastered.net

                Worst Actress

Katherine Heigl, One for the Money

Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil: Retribution

Tyler Perry (in drag), Madea’s Witless Protection

Kristen Stewart, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II and Snow White and the Hunstman

Barbra Streisand, Guilt Trip

               

screenrant.com

 Worst Director

Sean Anders, That’s My Boy

Peter Berg, Battleship

Bill Condon, Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds and Madea’s Witless Protection

John Putch, Atlas Shrugged: Part II

screenrant.com

Worst Picture

Battleship

Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure

That’s My Boy

Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II

A Thousand Words

                Basically, the Razzies are going to send the "Twilight" franchise off in style, riding a "Return of the King"-like wave of trophies into moviegoers nightmares, where it will remain for all of time. It won't be a clean sweep because what fun would that be two years in a row, but it will be close. Get those bets in now, “winners” will be announced on Oscars Eve, Saturday, February 23.

                Bumblebee tuna.

Info: Razzies

News: Sandler is king of the... Razzies

Remember the good old days? Back when girls were girls and men were men. (PS: We sure could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.)

                Anyway, one of the staples of said good days was the Scantron test. As a kid, this was about as good as a test could get. You got multiple choices, you got to fill in a bunch of circles, teachers got to put their feet up and let a machine do the grading for them. Everybody won.

                The only downside to the Scantron test? That nagging feeling that after you’d filled in three “C” answers in a row that the next one couldn’t possibly be “C.” Sure enough, you’d read the question and think “The answer’s C!” But no. That little voice in your head kept saying “What are the odds the teacher would put four “C’s” in a row like that? Then you’d end up picking “A” because you hadn’t used it in like 10 questions even though you were 90% it was a joke answer.

                Yeah, that’s basically what happened with my Razzie predictions. My gut told me to go “Jack and Jill” across the board, but the sight of all those pictures of Sandler’s ugly mug in a row seemed wrong. So I tacked on a British supermodel and Ken Jeong and braced for impact.

                Ladies and gentlemen, we have impact. I mean, it wasn’t all bad. I still managed to go 5-7 with my pre-Razzie predictions. Not too shabby really.

                Sander’s poopfest, “Jack and Jill” made history and swept every single solitary category at the 32^nd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards, a celebration of the worst Hollywood has to offer.

                No other film had ever done that. Touche, Mr. S.

                Sandler took home Worst Actor and Worst Actress trophies for his dual roles as the titular brother and sister.

                Katie Holmes and Al Pacino each took home Worst Supporting… nods for their roles in the film.

                The three thespians also shared the Worst Screen Couple award and the Worst Ensemble Award, as well.

                For a complete list of winner, click here. I’ll give you a hint. “Jack and Jill” won it. Whatever it was you were thinking about, “Jack and Jill” won it. Stupid little voice. I knew I should have just went with “C.”

                Source: Razzies

News: Razzie nomination special

Now that a bunch of old white guys out in Hollywood have finished telling us which movies THEY liked the best, we can finally get on to the important stuff.

                What were the worst movies of the year? Well, there’s only one place to turn for an answer… The Golden Raspberry Awards!

                The nominations are out for the 32^nd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards! The Razzies are, of course, the beloved celebration of the worst films pooped out by Hollywood every year and history has been made by the Razzies this time around.

It was an historic day of infamy for Adam Sandler, as he shattered records by taking home a jaw-dropping 11 (ELEVEN!) nominations this year. The previous record for nominations in one year for one person was Eddie Murphy’s five for “Norbit.”

Sandler’s silly total comes as a result of producing, writing, and acting in such disasters as “Just Go With It,” “Jack & Jill,” and “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.” All in one year. Sandler managed to jam several careers’ worth of god-awful movie making into a single year. What a talent that man is.

It was a bad year to be Adam Sandler, and it was also a bad year to be a dude dressed like a lady. Cross-dressing was one of the Razzies' favorite targets this year.

Well, here’s a rundown of the big categories. Head on over to the very ugly, but informative Razzies.com for a full list of nominees. My predicted… er… winners… are in bold and underlined.

Worst Picture

• Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star
• Jack & Jill
• Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1
• New Year’s Eve
• Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Worst Actor

• Russell Brand, Arthur
• Nicolas Cage, Drive Angry, Season of the Witch, Trespass
• Taylor Lautner, ABduction, Twilight: Breaking Dawn 1
• Adam Sandler, Just Go With It, Jack & Jill
• Nick Swardson, Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star

 Worst Actress

• Martin Lawrence (As Momma), Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son
• Sarah Palin (As Herself), The Undefeated
• Sarah Jessica Parker, I Don’t Know How She Does It, New Year’s Eve
• Adam Sandler, Jack & Jill
• Kristen Stewart, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1

Worst Director

• Michael Bay, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
• Tom Brady, Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star
• Bill Condon, Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1
• Dennis Dugan, Jack & Jill, Just Go With It
• Garry Marshall, News Year’s Eve

Worst Remake, Sequel or Rip-off

• Arthur
• Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star (Rip off of Boogie Nights and A Star is Born)        
• The Hangover: Part 2 (Sequel and a remake!)
• Jack & Jill (Remake/Rip off of Ed Wood’s Glen or Glenda)
• Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

        Worst Supporting Actor

• Patrick Dempsey, Transformers: Dark of the Moon
• James Franco, Your Highness
• Ken Jeong, The Hangover: Part 2, Zookeeper, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son
• Al Pacino, Jack & Jill
• Nick Swardson, Jack & Jill, Just Go With It

            Worst Supporting Actress

• Katie Holmes, Jack & Jill
• Brandon T. Jackson (As Charmaine), Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son
• Nicole Kidman, Just Go With It
• David Spade (As Monica), Jack & Jill
• The Underwear Model (aka Rosie Huntington-Whiteley), Transformers: Dark of the Moon