So this week’s Wes Craven movie is … oh wait, sorry. I guess
I owe Wes a break for a little while. But somehow I get the feeling our paths
shall cross again.
This
week’s Cheese List entry stars a comedy legend, one of the most recognizable
young faces in comedy, and a young actress who starred in the biggest
blockbuster of all time.
Oh
yeah, and our leading lady just so happens to be one of the biggest music icons
of the last 20 years and perhaps ever.
Dan Aykroyd.
Justin Long. Zoe Saldana.
And
ladies and gentlemen, The Miss Brittany Spears.
Here is
“Crossroads”
Credentials: 14%, Certified Rotten
(Rottentomatos.com) // 3 out of 10 (Imdb.com) // 27 out of 100 (Metacritic.com)
// Nominated for Eight Razzies at the 2003 Golden Raspberry Awards, won two
(Worst Actress--- Brittany Spears, Worst Original Song--- “I’m Not a Girl, Not
Yet a Woman”)
Now it’s time to take a gander at
what the critics had to say about “Crossroads.”
“She’s not yet an actress, not quite a
singer...” snarked Richard Roeper, of Ebert and Roeper.
“The kind of movie that seems like
a very extensive trailer for a music video coming soon to ‘Total Request Live,’”
very astutely and accurately noted Jane Dark, from Village Voice. Let this be a
lesson to you, critics. If you give “TRL” a shout out, you will get your word s
on The Cheese List.
Ian Waldron-Mantgani, UK Critic,
marveled “Crossroads” was “a bizarre piece of work, with premise and dialogue
at the level of kids’ television and plot threads as morose as teen pregnancy,
rape and suspected murder.”
On the pro side of the ball: “Spears
manages to come across on film as natural, endearing, and extremely likable,”
raved Jane Crowther from the BBC. So yeah, she seems like a person and we came
up with two ways to say she’s not a beeyotch. Party!
“Crossroads,” kids. Someone paint
Carson Daly’s nails and fire up the KoRn. All this “TRL” talk has got me fired
up!
Bumblebee
tuna.
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