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So how about that Puppy Bowl this weekend? God it was so
adorable, I just can’t even process it all right now.
I have to say though, it saddens me
how corporate the whole even has gotten --- what with the Icebreakers-sponsored
stoppages in play and Animal Planet trying to force-feed the rest of their
shows down America’s throats. It used to just be about the puppies, man. Well,
the puppies, the kitties and whatever other small, cuddly creatures that
happened to be laying around.
Yeah, but it was still awesome and
way more interesting than the Super Bowl until god intervened and struck the
stadium with a lightning bolt or whatever happened.
I decided to honor of this weekend’s
other big game, the one that didn’t feature cuddly critters, by picking a movie
with lots and lots of football action.
Well, that’s not exactly true.
There’s actually very little football action to be found in this movie. But
there is plenty of talk about going to watch a big football game.
In it, a group of friends are road-tripping
their way across country to watch their college team toss the old pigskin
around with another college team.
Unfortunately, on route they run
into some car problems right smack in the middle of nowhere. The only town within
miles seems mostly abandoned, expect for a hearty few individuals, but the kids
are really into this college football thing for some reason, so they head there
to hopefully get the parts they need to fix their car and get back on the road.
It just so happens this town also has
a museum. A special kind of museum with lots of figures in it, figures that
look really real, but aren’t … and are made from … wax.
In fact, the museum actually kind
of looks like somebody’s house, so I guess you could call it a:
Yes! “House of Wax (2005)” starring
Elisha Cuthbert, Jared Padaleck, Chad Michael Murray and Paris Hilton.
Credentials: 25%, Certified Rotten
(Rottentomatoes.com) // 5.2 out of 10 (Imdb.com) //41 out of 100 (Metacritic.com)
// Nominated for three Razzies at the 2006 Golden Raspberry Awards, (Worst
Picture, Worst Remake or Sequel and Worst Supporting Actress --- Paris Hilton),
Paris won the Worst Supporting Actress award // Hilton was also won the Razzie
for Worst Actress of the Decade at the 2010 Golden Raspberry Awards for her
work on this film among others
As I said a few weeks ago, you
could call this a guilty pleasure of mine, but that wouldn’t be accurate
because I feel no guilt whatsoever about loving this movie. Now, I haven’t seen
it in a few years, so let’s see how it holds up to the memory I have of it in
my mind.
Yeah, I know. More horror. I’m kind
of a one-trick pony.
Let’s take a gander at what the
critics had to say about “House of Wax”
Mike Clark from USA Today said: “When
the cast starts wondering where the roadkill is, someone says, 'Follow the
smell.' Good tip: That's how you'll know where ‘Wax’ is playing.”
“A stupid, brainless, and pointless
horror installment with all the usual characters, and pretty bad acting all
around ... ” said Felix Vasquez Jr. from Cinema Crazed.
Things weren’t all bad though, Desson
Thomson from The Washington Post raved “You’ll be rooting for these people to
get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.”
There you go: “House of Wax (2005).”
Look for my review on Friday and if you want to track it down and watch it, go
right ahead. You just might enjoy yourself.
Bumblebee tuna.
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