News: Piranhas, centipedes... and uh Twitter. Oh my!

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Ugh… “Human Centipede 3” news

                What’s there left to say about “Human Centipede” director Tom Six that hasn’t already been said about a backed-up septic system… or milk left out under the scorching July sun?

                Let’s get this over with. The guy behind the low-budget, gross-out series took to Twitter--- they’ll let just anyone on Twitter these days--- to shed some light on the third and god-willing final chapter of the “Centipede” saga. 

                Six said: “#humancentipede3 will have a 500+ person pede. XXXXL American style!” He added that it “will feature a porn-style centipede the size of one of those porn star sex competitions.”

                Of course it will. After the hurricane of gross that was part 2, man needed to top himself somehow. My guess is for part 4, Six is just going to show up in theaters and take a dump in audience member’s popcorn.

                To the handful of people who support this man, enjoy. You’ve earned it.

                Source: Joblo

‘Piranha’ finally gets official release date!

                I’ve been over my thoughts about Dimension’s idiotic decision to delay the release of “Piranha 3DD” already.

                Well, the thing finally has an official release date: June 1.

                When “Piranha” was due to come out in November, I was excited. Now it’s scheduled to come out about a month and a half before “The Dark Knight Rises.” Needless to say, my obsessive personality is a little occupied with that film.

                Also, I’m not sure how wise it is to try to open a John Gulager movie in the summer. Better to just fly him under the radar, but what do I know?

                MEH, either way you ruined it for me Dimension. I should have seen this three or four times by now, instead I’ll only see it once, Sad times.

                Source: Shock Til You Drop   

News: More 'Transformers' and number talk, less killer fish

DocumentingReality.com

‘Transporter’ to ‘Transformers?’

The rumors are all over the interweb: Jason Statham is being considered to play the lead in the upcoming “Transformers” sequels.

Let’s start with the fact that--- much like Chewbacca living on Endor--- this does NOT make sense! Why on god’s green Earth would you put Jason Statham in a “Transformers” movie?

Sure, on the surface a potential marriage between Michael Bay and the star of the laughably over-the-top “Crank” series seems like a match made in heaven. But let’s dig a little deeper.

Statham is known for two things: Kicking the crap out of bad guys and driving the beejesus out of really cool cars. In the “Transformers” universe the bad guys are all either robots or McDreamy from “Grey’s Anatomy” and the cars drive themselves. Doesn’t seem like there’s a whole lot for him to do there.

This is all a lot of talk at this point. Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg aren’t even officially back on board yet.   

Still, I love Jason Statham and if he’s (allegedly) in and Shia’s (supposedly) out, I might actually look forward to the next “Transformers” movie for reasons other than mocking it. We’ll see…

Source: Joblo

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‘Piranha’ gets pushed back, nation mourns

                Ladies and gentlemen, Dimension Films has canceled the late November release date of “Piranha 3DD,” and pushed it back until… gasp!… until “sometime in 2012.”  

Please stand, remove your hats and join me in a moment of silence, in remembrance of our flesh-eating, aquatic friends.

And now a little mood music.

Dimension gave no word on why they pushed the film back, but usually this kind of thing is never a good sign.

“Piranha 3DD” was easily my most anticipated movie of the fall/winter. I’m not sure who should feel worse about that statement: me or Hollywood. Either way, I’ll be taking the next several months off from work and heading up to the studio’s New York headquarters to join the “Occupy Dimension” protest.

We are the 99%... of the population who wants to see killer fish eat scantily clad women! We want gore and we want it now! We will not be ignored!       

Source: Bad Movie Nite

Asylum toes the copyright infringement line

                On November 11, 2011, Darren Lynn Bousman’s apocalyptic horror flick “11-11-11” will hit theaters. On the same day, Asylum’s knock-off apocalyptic horror flick “11/11/11” will be released on DVD.

                Notice the difference? Even for Asylum, a studio famous for piggy-backing on the success (or potential success) of Hollywood movies with titles like “Transmorphers” and “The Day the Earth Stopped,” this seems a little ridiculous.

                It’s time like this I’m glad my days working at Blockbuster are long gone. I still have nightmares where I’m explaining to confused customers why “The Terminators” looks so cheap and doesn’t have Arnold Schwarzenegger in it. I can’t imagine the horrors of trying to explain the difference between a dash and a slash.

Source: Bad Movie Nite