News: Academy hates fun + new 'Reunion' trailer

huffingtonpost.com

Academy puts foot down on fun

                For many moons, the NFL has been known as the “No Fun League,” due to its hatred of touchdown celebrations and near-constant attempts to litigate anything that could remotely be construed as fun out of the game.

                Despite that humorous title, the NFL is a party-poopin’ amateur when compared to another organization.

                Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. For starters, the group is comprised of more stodgy, old white dudes than either house of Congress. For more eye-opening stats, click here.

                With all those boring old white dudes running the show, is it any wonder that the same types of “meh” movies tend to win each year, while gold like “Warrior” sits on the sidelines?

                The latest battle in the Academy’s war on fun took place when beloved funnyman and star of the much-nominated “Hugo” Sacha Baron Cohen wanted to inject some life into the celebrity red carpet entrances.        

                Cohen wanted to dress like his character from his upcoming film “The Dictator” and share some laughs with whatever schmoe E! News has standing nearby.

                Sensing enjoyment could result from this, the Academy banned Cohen from the show, even though he promised to change into a suit once inside.

                Sure it’s a gimmicky bit of self-promotion, but who cares? The whole show is gimmicky self-promotion! Let Cohen do his thing for god sakes!          

                Source: Joblo

More ‘American Reunion’ nonsense

                There’s a new trailer out for the latest “American Pie” sequel, creatively titled “American Reunion.” Yay.

                I’m torn, personally. I’m not sure what I want to fail more, this or the equally creatively-bankrupt “Battleship.” Perplexing.

                While I sort this out, America, how bout we just all agree to skip both? Hmm? Look, if you have to see them, at least do the world a favor and have the good sense to watch them illegally online, would you?

                Uhhh… I mean, don’t do that. Because it’s wrong. Just like making a movie out of a board game and putting another “American Pie” movie into theaters.

                Well, the trailer features the usual collection of poop and sex jokes, so if you’re a 13 year old boy, you should be in all your glory. For the rest of us, just close your eyes and enjoy the classic 90’s soundtrack.

                I love me some Semisonic.

                Source: Youtube

News: More from the 'Reunion'

Ahh… more news from the sequel that no one asked for… or wanted--- “American Reunion.”

                Yay.

                Whereas the first trailer took the bold and disgusting pro-masturbating in front of children stance, this new trailer is a bit more tame.

                I guess. In case you were curious where the rest of the gang ended up, well, here you go. Oz is bangin’ the hot chick from “30 Rock,” one of them has a beard, Stiffler is sexually harassing women at work, Jim’s dad is… around. Sweet jesus god there’s nothing there!

                Get ready for that for 90 minutes. Well, that, and a mountain of masturbation jokes. You know, only high quality stuff from the “American Pie” franchise.

                Here’s the trailer. The song that plays through most of it is pretty awesome. I’m kind of tired of “Laid,” at this point. Still, I guess they have to play it. It’d be like going to a Wheatus concert and not hearing “Teenage Dirtbag.” People would riot. Chaos would reign. Panic on the streets!

                Please, America. Don’t the right thing and avoid this movie. If we don’t, then by god the terrorists will win.

                Source: Joblo  

News: The ‘Reunion’ no one asked for

                Like any good Hollywood monster, the “American Pie” franchise keeps coming back for more.

                Full disclaimer: I despise the “America Pie” franchise.

                I’m proud to say that I’ve been on the “who cares” bandwagon with these movies since the first “American Pie” movie hit theaters in the late 90’s.

                I just don’t have any patience for sex comedies starring a bunch of twenty-somethings in a high school setting that doesn’t exist in the real world. Call me a party pooper if you must. I prefer the term pioneer.

                Well, Jason Biggs, his sweat sock, Alyson Hannigan, Sean William Scott and the rest of the crew are back for “American Reunion,” the fourth theatrical entry in the franchise. I’m not going to waste my time counting the gibberish straight-to-DVD entries.

                The red band trailer for “Reunion” hit the web today and it features the usual blend of hackneyed, gross-out humor and sex jokes we’ve come to loathe (or in some strange cases: love).

                If you’ve ever wanted to watch a man in his mid-30’s masturbate in front of a small child, then by god, this is the movie for you. Lord almighty, just typing that sentence made me feel like I fell headfirst into a pile of triceratops dung.

                There’s not enough Purell on the planet to clean off that kind of dirty.

                Anyway, here’s the trailer. Let’s all do our best to NOT see this movie and end this franchise once and for all! Who’s with me? Hoozah!

            Source: IFC